On Being a Newbie

Remember how I posted about being in the space in between? Yeah, well apparently I’m not that good at just hanging out! In fact, it kind of terrifies me.

So in the last session with my practitioner she lovingly challenged me to explore being versus doing. Ever since, I’ve been in a haze of confusion. I don’t even know where to begin! This whole doing thing is so deeply engrained that I’m struggling to even grasp the concept of just being. Needless to say, I’ve felt so inadequate in exploring this new way of being.

And then yesterday I received an email from Tara Mohr who shared about her experience taking a new dance class for the first time:

This time, I could comprehend that I was simply a newbie in this class; nothing personal about that. I was able to chuckle at myself when needed and – most importantly – I was able to enjoy.

Oh! I’m simply a newbie at this being stuff! Now, there’s some self-criticism around this – like I should be farther along than I am – but, when I put the negative self talk aside, I am so relieved to know that I’m just a beginner.

In her email, Tara referenced this blog post where she talks about giving yourself permission to learn and how a growth mindset can enable you to play and practice. As I read, I felt myself soften and relax. And then I began to wonder….

  • Is it possible for me to enjoy learning about being?
  • Might I really enjoy letting go of all the doing?
  • Could it be that this space in between is actually the best part of ministerial training?

Honestly, I don’t know! But, I feel a crack in the veneer of doing and I’m willing to experiment with just being and see what happens. Maybe being a newbie is the best part of living?!

 

Posted by Cassandra Rae

Rev Cassandra Rae is an unlikely minister! She was raised fundamental Christian and spent her twenties being an angry atheist. She discovered the Centers for Spiritual Living (CSL) after enduring a medical crisis that moved her to heal more than just her body. She opened up her heart and began healing old wounds, which led her straight to the unconditional love of Spirit within her. Now she is a passionate speaker, teacher, and writer of an engaged spirituality that embraces our humanity, expands equity and inclusion, and realizes our power to co-create a world that works for everyone. She is a licensed minister with CSL, a certified professional coach, and holds degrees in business administration and transpersonal counseling psychology. She lives in Portland, OR with her husband and the cutest Chihuahuas that ever licked your toes!

4 Replies to “On Being a Newbie”

  1. Cassandra, thank you for sharing your journey. Even while taking a break, you have an impact on me and others. I can so totally relate to overdoing – to feeling like I’m on a gerbil wheel and can’t slow down. I’m glad you are taking care of yourself. Thank you for the reminder about being and not necessarily doing. And being a newby is a freeing idea. I imagine we are all really newbies if we are continuing to learn and grow, especially in consciousness. Be well!

    1. Right?! When am I not a newbie?! It’s good to hear from you, Jill, and I’m grateful to connect with you. Hugs, Cassandra

  2. Thanks for sharing Cassandra ! I feel ministry school is definitely made me a newbie and to have more compassion toward myself.

    1. Right on, Eamon! I’m so glad to have met you on this journey. You inspire me to open my heart and reach out to connect with people.

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