96. {12/26/09} Today I told my daughter that I didn’t want to go shopping with her because it was the truth. I really didn’t feel like shopping. But, I felt so bad because it was our first day back together after a week holiday and fear said that “a good mother would spend every waking moment with her daughter.” Oh yeah, I’m letting that one go! Because a truly good mother is an honest one who shows her daughter that it’s okay to do your own thing.
95. {12/25/09} Merry Christmas! Today I went to my in-laws without The Hubs who is at home sick. This is amazing movement for us as the in-laws and I haven’t always gotten along. But, we’ve done a lot of work over the last couple years and now it’s paying off. We spend time together because we like one another and want to connect on holidays. Woohoo!
93. {12/23/09} Today The Hubs and I traveled back from Florida with my father-in-law, his wife, and my brother-in-law. We arrived at the airport in two separate vehicles and instead of waiting for the rest of the party I went ahead and checked in and went through security. Even though fear was saying that I was supposed to wait and go in together, I gave myself permission to travel at my own speed. I’m kind of anal about getting through security with plenty of time to spare. Plus, I wasn’t feeling very social.
You know, one of the things I’ve learned through the 100 Things I Fear challenge is that it’s these little, small, and seemingly insignificant fears that really make a difference in life. I mean, think about it. How many times a day are you letting that whisper of fear call the shots? I challenge you to pay attention and the next time you hear it, say no, and choose for yourself who and how you are going to be.
91. {12/21/09} I shared my frustration about a situation without attacking anyone. I was afraid of sharing how I felt, but I simply couldn’t sit back and not say anything. It actually turned out to be very helpful as everyone learned more about each other in the process.
90. {12/20/09} Today I went to church with Uncle Bob & Aunt Mary. I didn’t just do what my father-in-law was doing. I thought about it and decided for myself where I wanted to go. I’m so glad I did too because I really enjoyed myself and my father-in-law was totally cool with it. In fact, afterward he was curious to hear about the service.
You know, on the outside it’s totally obvious that it’s okay to choose for oneself. And yet, so often we just do what others (especially parents) expect us to do. But, it really is okay.
88. {12/18/09} Today I walked into the living room, turned off the tellie, and told my daughter she was going with me to my chiropractor appointment. I’m becoming more assertive as a parent and it feels good for everyone.
84. {12/14/09} Today I took my daughter to see a homeopathic practitioner and it was such a cool experience. Mary Jo interviewed both of us about our entire history together. It was so scary to sit back and listen to my daughter describe her childhood. I was afraid she was going to attack me and blame me for anything negative. At times, I did find myself wanting to argue points. But, the truth is…it was how she experienced it and not me. I did have space to share my experience too. Every mother and daughter should go through this process together. It’s scary, but eye-opening and can really help you start over together if you have a lot of history.
70. {11/30/09} Instead of taking over from a place of frustration and judgment, I let my teenage daughter deal with a situation herself and it all worked out.
68. {11/28/09} I was so afraid to do this, but I allowed my daughter to go shopping alone on Telegraph Ave in Berkeley while The Hubs and I went to a movie. I felt like an over-protective parent, but I let it go and she was totally fine.
56. {11/16/09} I am so proud of myself for calmly getting us through what could have been a major disaster. I really can’t share the details as they aren’t mine to share, but I can tell you that I faced some serious parenting fears. I got through it by:
Cassandra Rae is an author, life coach, mother, and wife who goes on quiet walks with her camera to bring her hectic life back into peaceful focus. She lives with her husband, teenage daughter, a three-legged cat, and the cutest Chihuahua who ever licked your toes. Yes, this provides her with a lot to photo and blog about. To learn more check out the About Me page.
