Coach Cassandra Rae

Face 1 fear every day

Okay, the truth is…I didn’t update my 100 Things I Fear list for almost the entire month of October.  Oy!  In fact, at one point during the month I recognized that not updating my list was actually holding me back from blogging.  But, I simply couldn’t muster the energy to devote to it.  There was a lot going on in my life and ultimately I gave myself permission to let it go for awhile.

HOWEVER, I was still facing those fears and writing about them in my journal.  So as of 9:15am on Friday, October 30, 2009 my 100 Things I Fear list is completely up-to-date.  Woohoo!

And now I feel light, accomplished, and excited about the next fear I am going to face, which is committing to posting every day in November!  Damn.  I am one crazy woman!  But, it is true:

On my other blog {Simply Fearless FEMpreneurs} I have committed to NaBloPoMo and will be posting at least once a day in November.  In fact, I am using it as a tool to get me posting daily and as a way to support my readers.  How cool is that?! You can learn all about what I’m doing right here.  Why not join in the fun?

Tags: 100 Things I Fear, blogging, courage, fear, NaBLoPoMo

Simply Fearless FEMpreneurs

Oh my goodness…I inadvertently called myself one of the most successful FEMpreneurs on the planet! And guess what? I’m not taking it back.

Just this week I decided to dedicate my life coaching practice to  FEMpreneurs {women business owners & founders} and so I rewrote my bio blurb.  Check it out:

If you were to look at Coach Cassandra Rae’s life on paper you would think that she’d be living in the projects and on welfare. In fact, there were many a peeps who told her just that. You see, her life has taken her through domestic violence, homelessness, the welfare system, teenage pregnancy, miscarriage, divorce, drugs, and abortion. And yet, she has risen above it all. As a single mother, she put herself through Hartnell College and the University of California, Berkeley. She has learned how to turn all of her life’s challenges into stepping stones. Today she thrives with her husband and daughter in Sunnyvale, California where she runs her own Life Coaching Practice. She is one of the most unexpected and successful FEMpreneurs on the planet. If she can do it, so can you!

I really only intended for “the most” part to apply to the unexpectedness and not the successful piece, but now that it’s published I am going to leave it as-is.  Oy! The voice of fear is totally piping up, but I am not going to let it stop me.

Do I see myself as one of the most successful FEMpreneurs on the planet? Well, yes and no. Do I qualify in terms of dollars? No. But, do I qualify in terms of talent, passion, and dedication? OH HECK YES!

So I am putting down my editing pen and letting it stand as a declaration to the world {and myself!} that I am one of the most successful FEMpreneurs on the planet.  Here I come, Oprah!

Tags: 100 Things I Fear, business, business development, courage, fear, FEMpreneurs, Life Coaching

I am in the process of writing a book proposal & I’m curious:

Is living from your heart a woman thing?

Or are there men out there who also want to learn how to live a heart-centered life?

Please comment your honest thoughts, opinions, and insights.

THANK YOU!

Tags: advice, book proposal, happiness, life, survey

I normally blog when I feel inspired, open, and happy.  It’s just easier to share when I feel good…even when I’m blogging about feeling bad.

Well, right now I do not feel good.

Nope.

I feel pretty crappy. Nothing major has happened. No disaster. Just feeling deflated.

So instead of writing about all the fears I’ve faced lately for the 100 Things I Fear challenge…I’m simply going to share this video:

How the heck did I know that I would need it in the same day?!

p.s. This video was recorded in my meditation corner…so cozy :~)

Tags: bad mood, emotions, VLOG {Videos of me!}

Today’s fear was the classic “they’re going to think I’m stupid” fear.

I was in a meeting  and I came up with a suggestion for the facilitator.  After the idea came up, I was waiting for a break in the convo to share it and that’s when the fear crept in:

The more I thought about it, the less I liked it.

Then I started to think that people wouldn’t like the idea.

And then I imagined them looking at me like I was an idiot.

Oy! I was getting all wound up and it had only been like 30 seconds.  Literally.

The co-facilitator noticed my hand half-up and gave me the floor to speak before I had a chance to back down.

Gulp!

So I put the fear aside and shared my idea.

And guess what?

Not only did the facilitator say that she was going to take the idea to her boss, but the other people in the meeting loved it!

Really? You mean, you don’t think I’m stupid?! Whew!

Has this ever happened to you? If so, please leave me a supportive comment.  If not, then you aren’t sharing enough of your brilliant ideas & you need to join the 100 Things I Fear challenge!

{note: I know the above photo has nothing to do with this post directly, but I took this picture & I like it so I’m posting it. I’ve decided that that’s a good enough reason to include it :~}

Tags: 100 Things I Fear, communication, courage, fear, goals, Relationships, success

“Why?”

Even though I haven’t continued with the blogging book club, I have continued with my 15 Minutes of Nothing.  Well, I guess it’s not really “Nothing” any longer.  You see, I’ve turned it into a mediation and I like to take notes when I meditate.  In fact, lots of times my meditation notes are a transcription of an inner dialogue like this:

“All that you’ve ever wanted to achieve has come to pass.  It’s only a matter of calling it to you and through you.  You have that power: to experience it or not.  It’s up to you.  what do you choose?”

Oh wow! That’s both comforting and disturbing.

“Such is the nature of truth so often.”

Can you give me some advice?

“Always searching, this one.  That’s the problem: the search.  I know it feels productive, but it’s not.  It’s harder to search.  It’s easier to get still and allow the answer to come to you.”

But, that’s giving up control!

“Is it? Or is it the most powerful form of choice that far surpasses control?”

Oh! I guess control could be an illusion of choice.

“Control is an illusion of safety.  In reality, it is the most dangerous of forces: you push your worst fears into reality.”

Ouch!

“Yes. Ouch.”

Well then how do I let go of control?

“Notice the pattern of searching.”

Yes, I see it.  I can’t help it.

“That’s okay.  Love yourself through it.  You only want what’s best for you.”

True.  But, why can’t I stop? Oy! Searching again!

“Excellent!  You noticed yourself this time.  See how you’ve already grown in just a matter of minutes?”

I guess so.

“You guess? Or you’re willing to recognize that this is challenging work that you are engaging in?”

Well, yeah it is challenging!

“And you’re willing to do it.  So many sense it and turn away.  They don’t want to be bothered to transform humanity.  But, not you.  You are showing up and consistently too.”

Thank you.

“You’re welcome.”

–

FYI, my words are the ones not in quotes. Who’s in quotes? I’m not exactly sure. I just transcribe the thoughts that come up.  It’s hard to describe.  I know the messages are not me, per say, but they arrive within me.  When I get quiet.  When I open up.  When I listen.  When I do “Nothing”. I receive.  I’m a little weirded out about sharing it with you.  But, it seems like useful information.  Well, it has been extremely useful to me.  I hope it’s useful for you too.

Have you ever engaged in a dialogue like this? I’d love to hear about it.  It’d be nice to know that I’m not the only one :~)

Tags: 100 Things I Fear, advice, control, courage, fear, meditation, safety

I lied to hide my feelings, my talent, my anger, my vulnerability, my past, my family, my belief in God, my fear, myself, and my humanity.  I was so used to lying I thought I was telling the truth.  I didn’t know in my mind I was lying, but I knew in my heart.  Deep down I felt it. It touched me in rare, open moments like while I was showering.  A wave of sadness would wash over me for no apparent reason.  It took all of my energy not to cry.  I would tell myself there was no reason to cry and rush myself out of the shower, the moment, and most of all…the feeling.

I felt it when my eyes would flutter open in the afternoon after a whole night of drinking, dancing, and debauchery {read: sex without love or relationship}.  I was so numb and hungover; and yet, the numbness would always bump up against something within me that told me I was hiding.  That this wasn’t the way.  I would shut down as soon as possible with another lie.  It probably went something like, “I’m fine.”

In my very first private coaching session, I knew I couldn’t lie anymore.  And it wasn’t because I didn’t want to.  It was because I knew she could see right through them.  She could see me.  The real me.  The thing is…she liked me.  She saw me and like me.  She wanted to support me through the ugly.  No one else had ever showed up for me like that.

So I told the part of me that wanted to run away and never look back that that was it.  We’re doing this thing called coaching and we’re going to stop lying.  No more running.  It’s time to face up.  Oh and boy did we ever!

We stripped away those lies piece by piece, bit by bit, until I arrived at myself.  And wow! I’d never known myself like this before.  You mean, I wasn’t a terrible monster? Nope!  I found that I was a lovable person with human fears, flaws, and foibles.  And it was in the very things I tried to hid that I found the beauty in my life, my experience, and myself.

I am okay. I am me. I am beautiful. And I am human.  I’ve only ever wanted…okay, I can’t think of one or even a few words to describe this longing, but I do know that by embracing all of me – even the liar – no, wait especially the liar – I have become just that: {no, not a bigger liar!} I’ve become:

ME.

Simply.

Beautifully.

Me.

Foibles and all.

Tags: cry, emotions, feelings, honesty, Life Coaching, lying, Relationships, truth

Oh my god. This very well might be my most frightening moment since beginning the 100 Things I Fear challenge.  I am quite frankly shivering with fear and excitement.

You see, I received $5 of Borders Bucks.  I know, that in and of itself isn’t frightening at all.  But, just wait until you hear what I did with it.

I bought this book…

…and even before I purchased it I felt the power of it.  I held it in my hands.  Turned it over.  Read a few phrases.  And immediately began talking myself out of buying it.  There were so many good reasons to put it back:

I have countless books I haven’t read yet.

I’m behind in the blogging book club for The Joy Diet.

When am I going to have time to read?

I’m already in the middle of Convos with God book 2.

I shouldn’t spend more money on books – this is becoming an addiction.

And yet, despite all the very well-thought-out-reasons to put this book back and pass it up….I bought it.  I did it.  And now there is no turning back.  Its message is already humming in my heart.  Its power coursing through my veins.  I want to run and hide.  But, I want my dreams to come true too.  I want to put my talents out there.  I want my thoughts to become intentional things.  I want to lead the way.

Oy, and that pesky voice of fear says, “Put it away.  Don’t read this book.  You don’t need it.  You can do anything you want on your own.”

Well, you know what, fear?  I’m not going to run away.  And nothing you can say will stop me from reading this book, absorbing it, and putting it into practice.  I’m done saying, “It can’t happen to me,” and “That’s too big for me,” because:

It can happen to me.

It’s not too big for me.

I can publish a New York Times Bestseller.

I can travel the world spreading the Simply Fearless message.

In fact, I am a New York Times Bestseller author.

And I do travel the world spreading the Simply Fearless message.

There simply isn’t any way you can stop this from happening because it’s already happened.  The path is paved.  The rewards are there.  And I get to take one step at a time towards it and through it.

Life is glorious right now.  The process is perfect.  What a grand adventure.  I am the luckiest person on the planet.

Now step aside.

Thank you.

Tags: 100 Things I Fear, books, courage, fear, Infinite Possibilities, Mike Dooley, success

I saw him a few feet away from the gushing water.

“Oh! I wonder what happened?” I thought.

I kept running and realized that he was a city worker cleaning the gutters before the rainy season kicks in.  I wanted to say thank you to him for helping us create such a beautiful community, but my pace carried me through the puddles quickly and he was already behind me.

“Oh well.  Maybe next time.” I consoled myself knowing that I wouldn’t say it next time either.  It’s just too weird for some random runner to say something so personal to a stranger.  So I let it all go with my next exhale and got on with my run.

On the way home, I rounded the corner by the church and low and behold who do you think was now cleaning the gutters up ahead a block?! Yup, it was him.  The city worker had progressed down the street and I was once again approaching him.  But, this time I had plenty of time to figure out what I was going to say and say it.  Crap! Why did the “next time” have to be so close to the first time?

The voice of fear kicked in and said, “What kind of freak gives compliments to city workers? He doesn’t care what you think.  Just keep on running.  No one will ever know you thought about saying thanks and didn’t.”

Whew.  What was I going to do? Was I going to give in to fear and say nothing? Or was I going to risk looking like a freak?

One step in front of the next.

Heart pounding.

Out of breath.

Here he is.

“Thank you!” I said and smiled at him.

He looked up startled.

We made eye contact.

“For all that you do for our community,” I explained.

His expression softened into a smile, “You’re welcome.”

The surge of exhilaration I felt prompted me to jump over the next puddle!  I almost cleared it.  Instead I splashed right on by and ran the rest of the way home with a big ass smile.

–

This 100 Things I Fear challenge rocks it!  Feel free to join us at any time.

Tags: 100 Things I Fear, courage, fear, negative self talk, success

Can you believe I forgot about my own challenge on Saturday? Part of me feels like such a loser and another part of me knows that it is Simply Fearless to just come clean, tell you that I forgot, and move on.  So that’s what I’m doing!

I didn’t forget on Sunday and the fear I faced was asking my cast mates to run lines with me {I’m performing as Dorothy in the Wizard of SOM this Wednesday}.  I had sent out an email late Saturday night asking to rehearse after church on Sunday and when I showed up for church the next day the voice of fear said, “No one wants to rehearse with you.  Just forget about it.  Don’t make eye contact and slip away quickly.”  Again, I asked myself, “Am I going to allow fear to lead the way?”

Oh heck no!

I walked right up to cast mates, looked them square in the eyes, and asked if they were available to run lines.  4 of the 6 weren’t available, but 2 were and said yes.  Woohoo!  I received some serious help from fantastic actors all while walking through my own fear.  How cool is that? I am seriously loving this challenge.  I feel more and more courageous every day.  Wait.  Allow me to reframe:

I am more and more courageous every day!

The Hubs continues to be an awesome source of strength

Tags: 100 Things I Fear, courage, fear, goals, success