Last week I talked about being on an Information Diet.  Well, it’s not a diet.  It’s a freaking detox! And like any good junkie I had my stash and worked excuses out in my mind to justify receiving more outside input.

Yup.  It’s true.  I cheated.  And I cheated a lot.

What can I say?  I didn’t realize I have an addiction until I had to go without.  Is there such a thing as Information Binging?

But, because I’m also a very responsible person I came clean with my coach.  In our next session, I admitted that I was only doing it halfway.  I was only letting go of the self-help information I wanted to let go of and wasn’t really stretching myself.

And then she said, “You’re stuck because you’re getting so much outside input.”

Inside I was like, “No! That’s not true and I can’t miss another free teleseminar!”

But, then she reminded me that the assignment isn’t forever.  That I just need to clean up my input for now so that I can tell the difference between what’s deeply moving for me versus what’s just shiny and new.  I’m clearing the way so that I can delve deep into my own motivations and vision – future parts of the Art Aligned workshop.

Whew!  What a relief.  So I renewed my commitment to the “diet,” which really is a commitment to myself, my vision, and my future clients.  And that feels good regardless of the withdrawal symptoms.

You know, even before this assignment I knew how important receiving internal guidance is.  In fact, I receive it all the time – I’m very good at checking in with Spirit and my heart, mind and soul.  I simply didn’t realize how much outside guidance I was adding to the mix.

Well, now I know and so do you.  So if you don’t see me on Facebook or on your blog know that I’m just taking a little break for now.  And if you do see me cheating on my diet, then please lovingly call me on it.  Thank you!

You see, I’m taking the Art Aligned 3-month workshop led by Kate Watson and my first assignment is to stop looking towards my “competition” for guidance.

No more looking to see what other coaches and creative entrepreneurs are doing and how they’re structuring their programs.

No more checking out their websites.

No more signing up for freebies.

No more teleseminars to have someone else give me the magic key to purpose, passion and profit.  This one is so hard!  There are so many fab & free teleseminars happening right now.

Nope.  It’s time for me to create some space to allow my guidance to come through; to hear my own internal messages.

Oy.  Why is this so uncomfortable?

Why is it triggering resistance?

Why do I want to go run and hide in one of the hundreds (slightly exaggerating here) self-help books on my newly organized bookshelf?  Oh, did I forget to mention that reading self-help books is also off limits?

I do know why.

It’s because it’s powerful and I’m afraid of what will be revealed to me.  I’m afraid that I don’t have the guts to do what I’m being called to do.  What if it’s just too big?  Too different?  Too bold?  I don’t want to step out of my comfortable little box.

And on the other hand, I’m bashing my head against my “comfortable little box” and dying to release myself, to let myself be different, brilliant and simply me.

So this is it.  Today I commit to my Information Diet so that my authentic voice can speak.

Closes eyes
Takes big breath
And dives!

Artwork Inspiration by newbeautiful

“People aren’t getting enough out of their brainstorming sessions.”

“I should have given my 30 second introduction.”

“I should have allowed everyone to introduce themselves.”

“Why didn’t I do a centering exercise at the beginning?”

Basically, all of these thoughts were fear telling me I’m not good enough.  But, the truth is…the event was a smashing success!  In fact, I received so many emails afterwards telling me how empowering and awesome it was.  So I choose to focus on the success and make any necessary adjustments for the next one.

Oh my god. Today I discovered that I’m one of those insecure business women devaluing herself and her services. Now I hate myself for it.  What do I do?

“Well first of all.  There’s no need to panic.  You’re okay.  This new information is going to help you. It’s here to help you.”

Oh okay. But, she’s so weak.  I hate her for it.

“Yes there is a part of you that despises weakness.  That’s why weakness is showing up for you: so that you can embrace that too.  There is no other way around this but straight through it.”

Okay. My gut tells me I can no longer offer free stuff [in my coaching practice business].

“There’s some truth in there.  And it’s not black and white.  There’s no need to rush into action just yet.  First, process the emotion and then move into motion.”

Oh okay. That makes sense.  I can move into action when I have reconnected with my confidence and I’m not freaking out.

“Yes, it is wise not to move forward when you are freaking out.”

It also just occurred to me that believing in myself creates confidence.

“Yes, it does.  This week is all about believing in you and discovering your beliefs. You are doing an excellent job.”

Thank you.  It all just feels a bit overwhelming.

“Yes, it does. And you are strong enough to move through it with grace and dignity.”

Oh thank you.  Sometimes it doesn’t feel that way.

“Yes, I know. I’m here to remind you.”

Oh good. Hasn’t this been such an amazing process to face 1 fear a day? Don’t you feel courageous, bold, and empowered?

What? Oh…you feel bad because you haven’t kept up with it.  Yeah, I know what you mean.  I didn’t keep up with it either.  In fact, that’s why I’m calling you today.  Can you believe that I didn’t update my list for almost the entire month of October?!  It’s just that there was so much going on in my life.  I didn’t have the time or the energy to keep up with it.  In fact, it was probably good for my health to let it go.

Oh yeah…I know what you mean.  When things in my personal life get whacked so does everything else and it doesn’t matter how much I want to do stuff.  I simply have to rearrange to accommodate my priorities.  Speaking of which, that brings me back to why I’m calling.  I wanted to share with you that I’m thinking about switching it up and I would really love to receive your feedback.  You see, I found that the first 17 days of the challenge were the most powerful.  It was on the forefront of my mind.  I learned so much about fear and how it works.  I made some incredible strides.  And it didn’t turn into a burden because I kept up with it.

So you found it easier in the beginning too, eh?

It also occurred to me that habits are built in 21 days.  In fact, I tend to do a lot of my groups and programs in multiples of 21 because of that.  So what would you think about switching up the 100 Things I Fear commitment to a 21 day commitment instead of a 100 day one?

No!  We wouldn’t face 100 fears in 21 days!  That would be even crazier, right? No, I was thinking that we could all make a commitment to face 21 fears in 21 days instead of 100 fears in 100 days.

Yeah, I’ll keep going with my initial 100 Things I Fear challenge through the end of 2009.  But, I wanted to provide an alternative for people because it’s such an awesome idea and the last thing I want to happen is for it to turn into something people beat themselves up over.  That’s like the opposite of the intention of the whole thing!

I know, right? Plus, a few of my fabulous FEMpreneur friends encouraged me to buy the 100ThingsIfear domain and so I did.  Yay!  And I’m thinking about setting up a whole blog dedicated to this process.  What do you think about that?

Oh you have to get going now?  No problem.  Will you please do me a favor and post your thoughts on my blog?

Thank you so much! And I look forward to reading your comments…

Face 1 fear every day

Okay, the truth is…I didn’t update my 100 Things I Fear list for almost the entire month of October.  Oy!  In fact, at one point during the month I recognized that not updating my list was actually holding me back from blogging.  But, I simply couldn’t muster the energy to devote to it.  There was a lot going on in my life and ultimately I gave myself permission to let it go for awhile.

HOWEVER, I was still facing those fears and writing about them in my journal.  So as of 9:15am on Friday, October 30, 2009 my 100 Things I Fear list is completely up-to-date.  Woohoo!

And now I feel light, accomplished, and excited about the next fear I am going to face, which is committing to posting every day in November!  Damn.  I am one crazy woman!  But, it is true:

On my other blog {Simply Fearless FEMpreneurs} I have committed to NaBloPoMo and will be posting at least once a day in November.  In fact, I am using it as a tool to get me posting daily and as a way to support my readers.  How cool is that?! You can learn all about what I’m doing right here.  Why not join in the fun?