Nov 09 2008
From God-hater to God-follower {part 2}
Yesterday I posed the question, “So how did I go from a God-hater to a God-follower?” and it all started back in 2005 when I had a blood clot in my left eye that created a permanent blind spot in my central vision. It happened on April 10th just days before my contract ended – I was a tax consultant at the time. I was working more hours than I had ever worked in my life and my body screamed, “No more!”
I was able to go on short-term medical disability and dedicate 6 months to taking care of myself. This was the first time in my life I had the luxury of focusing primarily on me and my family. I’ve always worked hard at school or a job (and lots of times both of them at the same time). As luck (or God) would have it, I stumbled across a posting on Craigslist for a Women’s Inspiration Group offered by Life Coach Susan Liddy.
I spent the next 6 weeks learning how to process everything and create a life based on my own personal values. This was the beginning of my true independence as I learned how to value myself separate from all the other in my inner circle. It was also the beginning of delving deeper into my soul and this is where I found God.
It didn’t happen in one magical moment. It happened over years of consistently and slowly connecting with more of myself. I processed years of unprocessed emotions. I exposed mountains of beliefs I was unconsciously carrying around that kept me disconnected from myself, others, and God.
At first, it was all about getting comfortable with the anger. There were valid reasons I was so angry at God (I realized later that the anger was more about religion, but at the time I couldn’t see the difference between God and religion) and I needed to give myself space to fully feel it so that I could let it go.
After the anger, there was a lot of sadness. I shed tears that had been stored up for what felt like my entire life – and maybe they were.
After the tears, there was a big empty space of nothing. It felt so good to be in a neutral space after living in negativity for so long. I was finally at a place where I could say that religion really worked for some people and that was okay. It was also okay that that’s not what worked for me. This was so beneficial to my family relationships as I had grown into a space of accepting the fact that they were religious and I wasn’t. It simply wasn’t a big deal anymore. {I feel the need to note here that this ability came with a lot of other work that I’m not sharing here simply because it’s a whole other story that I might or might not expand upon in future posts.}
Doh! My half an hour is up so I need to sign off for now, but I’m really enjoying writing about this topic and I look forward to sharing more with you. Have a great Sunday!
View Comments
