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Oct 24 2008

Profile Image of Cassandra Rae
Cassandra Rae

I need your advice, please.

Posted at 6:12 pm under Career & Money,Fun & Friends,Self Reflection

So tomorrow is our annual Cal football game. We used to be season ticket holders and go to all the home games. But, then we realized that it was taking so much energy – one Saturday event would consume the whole weekend really because Sunday we were too tired to do much else. Plus, we have Gracie the Chihuahua and a busy teenage daughter. So we whittled it down to one game a year and tomorrow’s the day. We picked this day months ago and our good friends bought the tickets for us. It’s even the birthday of another friend who we’ve chipped in to buy a gift for.

Here’s where I need your advice.

The thing is…tomorrow is also BizTechDay in San Francisco. So many of my entrepreneur friends have invited me to go. In fact, I’ve even been invited to go at no cost. Damn. I really want to go. The solopreneurs that I look up to are going and I know it would be really good for my business to attend.

Here’s another catch.

The Hubs and Daughter have said that if I cancel going to the game, then they’ll cancel too. They said, “It’s simply not the same without you.” At first I was like, “Damn! That’s a lot of pressure.” It’s true. I feel like I’m deciding for all of us and not just me. But, I know that’s not entirely true. I also know how important my presence is to the friends we’ve promised to go with.

But, the truth is my heart is at BizTechDay. I mean, I’ve known about it for quite some time and knew that I was already booked and it wasn’t a big deal. Until I started receiving personal invitation from people I really admire.

Crap. What should I do?

Oh my heaven…and I just remembered that another really good friend who is moving away soon is having a baby shower tomorrow and I really want to go to that too. Double crap! I feel torn in so many different directions and I feel loyal to everyone…which also makes me feel loyal to none.

Now I really need your help.

Oh, and while I was writing this Daughter tells me, “You’re not supporting me. You’re just pressuring me. You’ve done nothing but pressure me all week.”

Argh.

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View Comments

  • http://www.urbandarling.com corinne

    Listen,
    There are two thoughts here:
    1. Tradition
    2. Happy wife; happy life.
    3. Both is possible.

  • http://www.hablals.com Gina

    It is important to honor your committments. You had this game booked well before you knew about Biztech Day.

    I too, had an out-of-town committment and I wasn’t going to go to Biztech, but then everybody started cancelling mostly due to the flu bug, so we all decided to postpone our event. Then when I got a FREE invite to Biztech Day. Even though I really wanted to use the day to rest, I felt like I really needed to be there. God was opening up the door even by sending a free ticket.

    Your case is different, God is sending you the signs to go to the game. There will be other opportunities for you to connect for your business. We can even meet for coffee and I’ll go over with you what I learned.

    Maybe you can even squeeze in the baby shower too. But, I am a firm believer in honoring committments that are already on the calendar. I’ve even lived in Latin America but the calendar is how we live in this society. God will honor your faithfulness and bless your business regardless (it’s already being blessed as we blog. . .) Have fun with your family and give your teenager a big hug (even if she acts like she doesn’t like it). HTH.

  • Robin

    I don’t know what your family time is like. Running your business, and keeping a family can be very difficult. Family time is sacred for us. Simply because we have to slot in time for ourselves. My daughter (fortunately) understands that sometimes on a saturday I need to be at the shop for an hour in the middle of our mother/daughter time. But that’s it…..its my day away from the shop and time we spend it together, just her and I.

    If I have an event/appointment on our day, I tell her far enough in advance that it isnt an issue.

    Ok, this is sounding like a guilt trip……….it isnt!!!!! If your life is very busy and you have to schedule your days off to spend specifically with family, then keep the family date. If you have a very flexible schedule and you KNOW that this is a business building opportunity, grab it and make it up to everyone at another time.

    I dont know if this helped or not, but I wish you an easy decision!

  • Alicia

    What does your “Highest Self” say to do Cassandra? Listen to that. :)

  • http://andreslange.blogspot.com/ Andre S. Lange

    Sounds like you made a good choice, but seriously–a football game is just a football game! Next year, if things crop up that you are more into, let the sports-maniacs go!
    Thanks for the comment on my blog. I have replied to your comment and posted another blog posting on mine.
    Dennis

    Andre S. Langes last blog post..Getting Organized

  • http://www.simplewayscoaching.com/ Cassandra Rae

    Total chills after reading your advice, Corinne! I love your simple, yet powerful words of encouragement. Thank you so much!

    @ Gina ~ I love you! And I love your advice too. It’s really cool how willing you are to share your belief in God and your own process too. I’m going to email you to set that coffee date.

    Aw…thank you Alicia! Your advice came in the form of a powerful question that inspired me to find my own answer. You rock!

    Yes, your advice helped, Robin, and it did turn out to be an easy decision. In fact, as soon as I published the post I knew that I was going to honor my commitment and go to the game with my family. It was like all I needed was some time to not know, write about it, and ask for help. Thank you so much for sharing.

    I *LOVE* your advice, Dennis! Thank you for sharing your unique perspective. In this particular situation, it turned out to be about family and connecting with friends. In the future, I will definitely take a moment to step into the lighter side of “it’s just a game” and see where my heart leads me.

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