Oct 27 2008
I woke up angry today because…
I woke up angry today because it’s Monday, the first day of a new week and I’m exhausted. The entire weekend was non-stop. It began on Friday night with book club. Saturday we left at 8:30am for Berkeley and didn’t arrive home until 9pm with just enough time to unwind a bit and go to bed. Sunday we traveled again to Monterey (about an hour and a half away) so that our daughter could perform. She didn’t end up performing (that’s a whole other issue I may or may not go into). I had just enough time left on Sunday to make a mandatory trip to Costco & Pet Club and begin the laundry I haven’t done for 2 weeks.
And then this morning I found out that my daughter lied to me last night and has been hiding the fact that she wasn’t allowed to buy her bus pass for October because she cut school in September. I mean, damn, it’s almost the end of October and I just found out that she’s been paying her bus fare the entire month.
Okay, so things are not where I want them to be on the home front…on any front really. I’m not where I want to be with my business, with my daughter, with my friend Larissa, and pretty much with myself. It would be so easy for me to seriously beat myself up right now. In fact, that’s what I’ve been doing. And maybe that’s the real reason why I’m angry: I never give myself a break.
It just occurred to me that Coach Vanessa gave me some excellent advice last week about finding freedom through accepting myself. I’m going to go check it out again. I remember that she offered some powerful questions that I haven’t answered yet. It seems like now is a good time to do so.
