This is an amazing show that was written and directed by two amazing CSL women.  It is an updated, spiritual version of the Wizard of Oz – and a whole heck of a lot of fun!  It’s an awesome script filled with humor, heart, and song.  I hope you can come out and enjoy it.

It is our summer series program, which means that we will be performing a new installment of the play each Sunday beginning on June 21st for 6 Sundays in a row.  Performances are at 9:30 and 11 services and we are located at:

Center for Spiritual Living
1195 Clark Street
San Jose, CA 95125
Phone (408) 294-1828

So in order to enjoy the entire production you get to show up every week!  How fun is that? And of course, while you’re there you will find me, give me a hug, and tell me how much you loved my performance!  hee hee hee :~)

Okay, so I know all of you can’t make it every week.  If you must pick and choose a week or two, then I highly recommend you come for weeks 5 & 6 (July 19 & 26).  In both of those weeks I sing a solo!

Get connected at the Center for Spiritual Living

You know that I love to post about God and spirituality. Well, if you like these topics too, then you absolutely must read The Shack by William P. Young.  It offers an incredibly unique perspective about God, religion, and our relationships with both.  Plus, it’s literary!  It’s very well-written and the story is super intriguing – it’s about a father who’s daughter has been brutally murdered.  Don’t worry I didn’t give anything away!  The reader knows up front about the daughter, but it’s still a mysterious read.  You’ve gotta read this book…in fact, even if you don’t believe in God.  No wait, especially if you don’t believe in God!

For those of you who are regulars here, then you know that I’ve grappled with Christianity a lot in my lifetime.  Well, this book has inspired me to look at Christianity in a whole new light and believe me, that is huge!

Here, I’ll make it real easy for you to buy the book on-line.  Here’s a direct link to it on Amazon.com:

Happy Reading!

How are you receiving these insights?

Well, it begins by opening up to it.  And the opening up is based on believing that it’s available.

Oh that’s interesting. Where does it come from?

Well, in my particular belief system it comes from God.  You could also say that it comes from the Universe, Spirit, the Divine, etc.

Who is God to you?

Oh I’m not ready to answer that question!

Why not?

Because I haven’t figured it all out yet.

Well, would you be willing to share what you have figured out?

I still feel a bit hesitant, but I guess I could.  God is the father (and mother) of all religions.  He takes on many forms so that he can connect with everyone.  Different people have different ways of connecting so he makes himself available to everyone.

You paused.

Yeah, I guess I’m feeling like that’s all I want to share right now.

You guess? Or you know?

I know.

Well, thank you for sharing.  And it does bring up an interesting topic that I would like to throw out there for others to comment on:

Who is God to you?

In your life or career…

1. Are you having fun?
2. Are you growing?
3. Are you lifting up others in the process?

I encourage you to take some time right now to answer these questions for yourself.  Think about where you spend a good chunk of your time and answer these questions in relation to that part of your life.  Maybe it’s your job or your family.  Be as honest as you can and if you don’t like any of the answers, then now is your time to change them!

It is so easy to get all worked up and worried during this time of year with family gatherings and traveling.  So I thought it would be neat to share some of the amazing and powerful perspectives I’ve learned through Pastor Dave at the Center for Spiritual Living.  Here is my collection from my first visit:

• God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.
• Google “Dear Abby Holland Italy” – it’s a neat story.
• We’re trying to have a better past.
• Forgiveness is giving up trying to have a better past.
• How do you understand love? {my response: you don’t ~ you feel it}
• I wouldn’t change one thing about you.
• Prayers begin in gratitude.
• Healing is a change in consciousness.
• Prayers are answered immediately and everything else is nature’s way of catching up.
• The “problems” of today are the solutions to yesterday’s problems.
• Whom will it be revealed through? Maybe you.
• You have to let go of what was in order to allow what will be to be.
• What does your story do to your life and happiness?
• There are things we don’t know that we don’t know.
• You choose where you want to go and God takes you there.

If you’re a regular here at Simply Fearless, then you know that 2008 has been a year of spiritual search and growth for me.  Well, I think I might have found my new church home with Pastor Dave at the Center for Spiritual Living.  I’ve only attended twice, but it is an amazing community.  One step through the door and I felt loved, accepted, and welcome.  Oh and the pastor is a comedian.  Seriously.  At first, I was like, “How the heck am I going to get spiritual with all this laughing?”  And you know what? I got more spiritual in 5 minutes of laughter than I did in 4 months at another church.  What an eye opener for me!  And here I thought God was this super serious being in the sky!  So here’s to a worry-free holiday, a lot of laughter, and a powerful connection with God.

And so it is.

And I learned that it wasn’t Christianity I was searching for.  It was…

…a closer connection with God and as much as I wanted Christianity to be the vehicle that took me there, it simply isn’t.  Here’s the thing.  I found God by delving deeper and deeper into myself.  I connect with God through a strong connection with myself, my thoughts, my feelings, and my body.  It is by loving and embracing my humanity that I connect with the part of me that…no, that I connect with the core of myself that is God.

I was also searching for a community of people who could help me deepen my connection.  People who were farther along in the process, deeper along in the process.  The plain and simple truth is that Christianity didn’t provide this for me.  Part of me wants to go into all the specific details about why, but that isn’t the point here.  The point is that I gave Christianity a whole-hearted try.  I’m now at this really cool place where I’m no longer afraid of Christianity.  I do not see it as the evil-incarnate I once did.  And I see the value in it and do not judge those for who it serves.  This is HUGE for me!

So I needed to walk through Christianity in my quest for God and I’m so grateful that I did.  I really enjoyed the church I attended.  In fact, Calvary holds a special place in my heart for providing a safe place for me to explore Christianity.  I truly did have a positive experience, which was definitely a big part of setting me free from the fear and judgment I once held onto about religion, God, and Christianity.

I’m still searching for a spiritual community to support me in growing my relationship with God.  This is important to me because I’m a new follower.  I’m just learning how to let go of control while making powerful decisions for myself.  And I do believe that God has a very specific plan for my life.  When I choose to follow it, I experience deep fullfillment and success.  It is a learn-as-you-go process and I get confused a lot.  Maybe “confused” isn’t the right description.  It’s more accurate to say that I get scared along the way.  God does ask me to take bold steps that are frightening.  But, he only asks me to take one step at a time.

So thank you for taking this journey with me as I discover God and his plan for me.  I’m excited to continue to share my life story with you and I believe that great things are in store…divine things are in store for me!

But, we made it to the next one and…

…before I even walked in I was touched by the community.  I had emailed the leader to let her know that I couldn’t make the first meeting because of the lump in my breast and she emailed me back expressing concern and letting me know that she would be praying for me.  Her kind and simple words of support meant so much to me during a super vulnerable and scary time in my life.

The honeymoon wore off quickly as we delved into the Bible study.  It became clear to me almost instantaneously that I didn’t jive with the material.  I loved the surface messages of trust, love, and dedication, but as soon as we started to dig deeper I ran into some serious objections.  Again, there was this underlying message of humans as less than, God as more than, and the Bible as the end-all, be-all with Jesus leading the way.  As much as I wish I could believe and live this, I simply don’t.  I mean, it would be easier to believe that there is a book with all of the answers I need in it.  It would be easier to connect with my extended family if I walked down the Christian road.  It would be easier if there were people to tell me what is right and wrong.

But, having a relationship with God isn’t about easy – and I’m pretty sure Christians would agree with me here.

My favorite part of the Women’s Bible Study was connecting with other women who were interested in and dedicated to deepening their relationship with God.  At the same time, I was surprised to learn that Christian didn’t mean empowered.  I guess I had built up Christians in my mind as people who were closer to God, which meant that they would have a clearer sense of self, of equality, and be strong leaders.  In short, I put them up on a pedestal of everything I strive to be and decided that being a Christian would take me there.  Boy, what a wake up call it was for me when I heard women demeaning themselves.  I heard women question, “Why would God listen to little old me?” and women who felt almost proud of their suffering because it brought them closer to God.

Part of me wanted to grab them, shake them, and say, “God didn’t create you to suffer and there is plenty of him to go around.  He created you to succeed.  He is there for you all the time and when he listens to you, you aren’t taking him away from someone else.  He wants you to embrace and love yourself.  Heck, he loves you just as you are.  You don’t have to put yourself down or change to be worthy.  He speaks to you through your thoughts, feelings, body, and intuition.  You are an expression of God.  You are part of him and he works through you.  We are all God’s children, just like Jesus.”

But, I realized how threatening these viewpoints are and I shared my views in small doses and as gently as I could.  I wasn’t there to change them.  I was there to learn.  And I learned that it wasn’t Christianity I was searching for.  It was…

It’s cold, foggy, and wet outside.  What a brilliant day for taking photos!  Which is exactly what I did this morning instead of running <sneaky smile>  Okay, now where was I? Oh yes, as soon as I stepped into the sanctuary, I knew that this church was different and I liked it.  There was an energy.  A friendly and spiritual energy.  Yeah, that’s it: when I entered into this space I immediately felt a closer connection with God.

Once again, I paid very close attention to the lyrics of the music and the message.  I took copious notes and found that I was learning and deepening my connection instead of tweaking the message to work for me.  Oh this was so cool!  And what was even cooler was that I bumped into one of the gals from my Women’s Inspiration Group.  I love going somewhere new and seeing someone I already know.  I feel popular when that happens and I’ve always wanted to be popular <sheepish grin>.

At the same time, this was a large congregation and I felt like an outsider.  I didn’t connect with anyone new and it was easy to attend the service without really putting myself out there.  I could sneak in, have my private moment with God in the crowd, and leave without anyone really knowing I was there or not there.  But, the excitement about finding a Christian community outweighed the fear of being a new, small fish in a big pond.  I decided I liked this church and that I would continue to attend.

And I did.  I attended for months.  And my family went with me too.  They are such good sports.  I’m always asking them to try new things and go new places.  Anyhow, after awhile I decided that I wanted to connect with the people at church at a deeper level so I went to Sunday School.  It was okay.  I liked meeting people in a more intimate setting and having the opportunity to share my view as well.  However, I didn’t care for how the groups were assembled.  It was determined by if you were married and for how long, if you had kids, and what age you and your family are.  I didn’t really fit into any of the categories because I’m young, have a teen, and am in my 2nd marriage.  So I’m in my early 30′s, been married for 4 years, and have a 15 year old daughter.  Yeah, there was not a group for that category!

I did however try on the young couples group and it was okay.  But, it wasn’t worth getting to church 2 hours earlier to attend.  So I let that go and moved on to Women’s Bible Study.  They had a new one starting on Thursday evenings at the same time as the college gathering, which was perfect so that my nephew (who was living with me at the time) and I could go together.

We missed the first Thursday because I had a biopsy that day and was in too much pain (this was during the time when I found a lump in my breast).  But, we made it to the next one and…

{Sorry folks my time is up and I really have to get going because I’m painting my old office today as I move back into my home office.  More to follow tomorrow :~}

I used to say, “Community is the key to happiness.”  So once I accepted the fact that at least part of me believed in God I decided to start trying on spiritual communities.  One of the first places I visited was a Christian church just down the street from me who always had neat messages out front on their marquee.  On that first Sunday I was excited and afraid, but the courage outweighed the fear so off to church I went.

It felt good to be in church; kind of like coming home since I had spent so much of my childhood in one.  I enjoyed the singing, the adventure of being in a new place, and the possibility of deepening my connection with God through the experience.  I also went with hesitation, paying very close attention to the message and energy of the environment.  What I found was that as upbeat as the music was and even though there were a lot of smiling faces, there was also an undercurrent of disempowering energy.  I listened closely to the lyrics we were singing and found that the words didn’t jive with my own personal understanding of God.  During the sermon I took copious notes and found that what I was doing was tweaking the pastor’s message to fit with what I believed.  Overall, there were elements that I thoroughly enjoyed and others that really bothered me.  I went back a few times in hope that I would connect with people who would convince me to be a part of the community.  But, it didn’t happen and I continued my “church shopping”…

The next place I tried on was the Center for Spiritual Enlightenment.  Oh what a beautiful campus!  I loved the environment.  Simply the surroundings inspired me to connect with God.  I enjoyed the service, the meditation, and the tranquility of the experience.  And I did feel a deeper connection with God.  However, I didn’t feel a connection with the people.  It was like everyone was so spiritual they forgot to enjoy each others company.

At this point, I let go of church-shopping for awhile.  I was beginning to feel like I’d never find a community…until I met Pastor Mark.  He was the officiant of Andy & Christine’s wedding (I was one of the maids-of-honor).  During the cocktail hour we got to talking and I shared with him about my life coaching work with teens and parents.  He shared with me about his church community that had a large youth group and we both felt a spark of a potential partnership.  He invited me to attend church and I was once again inspired and excited about church-shopping.

As soon as I stepped into the sanctuary, I knew…

{Doh! My time is up.  I promise to write more tomorrow.}

My life didn’t change much after saying out loud that there was at least a part of me that believed in God.  I kept on doing what I was doing.  I continued with my Daily Practice Journaling (a practice that helps me process my life and build a deeper connection with myself).  I kept working to build my coaching practice.  And of course, I was still mom and wife with a busy family life.

And an interesting thing happened.  The harder I worked at building my coaching practice, the less success I had.  In fact, at this point I had been struggling for more than a year with barely any clients.  I would get a few nibbles here and there; just enough to keep me from quitting.  Actually, that’s not true.  There were times when I had no clients at all and I stayed committed.  That’s not to say I didn’t consider quitting.  I just didn’t.

And this is when I really began to get closer to God.  I simply didn’t have any other choice.  After exhausting all of my own resources I decided to let go of trying to make things happen how I thought they should happen and follow Inspiration.

As I’m writing this, I’m having a difficult time articulating how this happened.  I didn’t give in and stop working.  I just started working differently.  I began to pay more attention to my body.  I began to meditate.  I began to go outside for inspiration.  I stopped forcing myself to work when I was tired.  Instead I rested.  I wrote down ideas when they came to me.  I quit pressuring myself.

It was in this space of letting go, of following my body, mind, and heart that I created a soul connection with God.  This makes perfect sense to me now as I have learned that this is how God speaks: through my body, my thoughts, my feelings, and my intuition.  He also sends pretty strong messages (i.e. blood clot in eye and having no clients) that are there to urge me to slow down, shift directions, ask for help, and give up the pressure.

Today, I look back on the time when I had no clients with such loving gratitude because I know without a doubt that if I had been successful right off the bat that I wouldn’t have taken the time to create this relationship with God.  I would have been too busy working.  And the crazy cool thing is that my coaching practice has taken some very interesting turns in the process.  When I first started out, I insisted that I am here to serve parents and teens – this very well could still be true – but, it’s not the niche that I’ve built my coaching practice through.

Darn…my half an hour is just about up…and I know it feels like this story is just about up too- and maybe it is – but, I would also like to sharte with you about my experience in church.  Yup, earlier this year I decided to give Christianity another chance and I attended church regularly for about 4 months.  I can’t wait to continue to share!