From Doubt to Possibility

I’m finding it quite challenging to write today. You see, I like to write from a place of clarity and confidence. But, quite frankly not much is clear or confident over here!

I’m in this in between space having finished ministerial training with the Centers for Spiritual Living and waiting to become licensed. I must pass oral panels, which are actually coming up in early August! (Side note: I plan on sharing the experience on Instagram if you want to come along for the journey.) This is the final step in becoming Reverend Cassandra Rae!

The thing is…my path isn’t exactly turning out the way I thought it would. I had this plan for how it would unfold and it’s not happening that way, which is okay…except I’m finding I’m much more attached to the initial plan than I thought I was. 

But, now that I’m writing, I’m realizing that the attachment isn’t really about everything going according to my previous plan. It’s about knowing how and when things will happen. I don’t like not knowing.

All of this is compounded by the fact that I’ve interviewed for a position at an organization and I’m waiting to find out if I got the job or not. Another level of not knowing {yet}.

From this vantage point, it seems as if my future is in other people’s hands and I’m just waiting to find out what’s going to happen. But…

I remember that my intention and my focus have power.

I remember that before new life bursts through the soil that it appears dark and scary.

I remember there are many, many things that are clear about what I want and what I’m passionate about.

I remember that the Universe is conspiring for my good.

I remember that Infinite Possibility is the nature of this Life.

So, I have some work to do. It’s time to get creative. It’s time to give myself some space and remember that while productivity might not look like how it normally looks in my life right now, but this in-between space is productive for the soul. I’m going to let that be enough. 

I’m going to spend some time visioning and visualizing. I’m going to get clear on what I want and why. Job or no job, I am responsible for creating my ministry, for cultivating the life I want to live.

And you know what? I’m excited about what’s to come! I might not know what it is {yet}. But, I know it will be good. 

UPDATE: I did not get the job I had applied for. While I am disappointed, I am also trusting that this is the best direction for my life and ministry.