Following the Intuitive Path

Dear Beloved One,

Today is exactly one month since I arrived in British Columbia, Canada! My schedule has been mostly filled with tasks like finding a permanent place to live, importing our vehicles, finishing up the sale of our house in Portland, Oregon (we closed escrow this past Thursday!), and just being here.

My Chihuahuas Angel and Gracie made the trip with me!

It’s been pretty overwhelming to move countries. And yet, in my soul I know this is right for my journey right now. I’m not going to lie, it can be hard to follow that Inner Knowing especially when the outer appearance doesn’t always make sense. I mean, it’s expensive to live in the Vancouver, BC area. My husband and I are downsizing from a 4 bedroom house on half an acre to a 2 bedroom condo in a 27-floor high rise building (who does that?!) The taxes and cost of living are much higher here.

But, money isn’t always the best indicator for making life decisions.

I’m not saying that money isn’t important – it is. In fact, moving here is motivating me to increase my consciousness around spending and budgeting. I am saying there are other vital factors to consider.

I’m reminded of a decision I made back in 2011. I was finishing up the prerequisites to enter practitioner training with the Centers for Spiritual Living. I’d had a particularly challenging experience with my 18-year old daughter and so I took an afternoon off for self-care. I went to the Land’s End Park in San Francisco, California to walk the labyrinth on the beach with a view of the Golden Gate Bridge. It’s a very special place! During this walk, I received the call to ministry and the trajectory of my life took on a whole new direction. All of a sudden, practitioner training meant something different to me. It wasn’t the end of a 2-year journey; it was now the beginning of ministerial training.

Photo of Lands End Labyrinth by C N

So I decided to look at the other centers in my area to make sure that I trained at the best center for me. I’d never actually considered any other centers before. In this exploration, I found Rev Jane Beach. The very first time I heard her speak I knew she was my next teacher.

We shared a similar history of atheism. Although our stories were very different, I felt a deep resonance in how we both made the journey from atheism to the Centers for Spiritual Living.

I felt safe in her presence. I wanted to learn and grow with her and, more importantly, she inspired me to open up to deeper parts of myself and my heart. I respected her teaching style, her leadership, her ethics, and her wisdom. She had something I wanted even if I couldn’t quite articulate what at the time.

So I moved centers. And guess what? I could no longer go to practitioner training! Rev Jane wasn’t offering it. I knew I was being called into ministry and practitioner training was the next step in that process. But, I decided to put it all on hold in order to follow my Inner Knowing that Rev Jane was my next teacher.

I wasn’t letting go of my dream. I was just letting go of the path to that dream.

I didn’t choose the most direct or logical route (that would have been to stay at my previous center). I chose the intuitive path and it wasn’t until many years later that I could see why that “detour” was necessary. I learned things from Rev Jane that were key to my personal healing. Plus moving to her center put many other things into motion that were imperative to my development as a spiritual leader.

Fast forward eight years and here I am living in the Lower Mainland, British Columbia and I’m a licensed minister with the Centers for Spiritual Living! While I don’t yet know exactly why I’ve been called to this area of the world, I do know that during my first visit to this area I felt that same resonance I felt with Rev Jane. There is a certain sensation that happens when my soul is nudging me in a particular direction. It takes courage to follow that soulful sensation (especially when logic and reason might be pointing in a different direction!)

Golden Ears Provincial Park, British Columbia – our temporary housing is about 30 minutes from this gorgeous park!

So today on my one month anniversary of moving from the States to Canada, I acknowledge my willingness to follow Inner Knowing. I know this kind of commitment has unforeseen detours that take me to surprising places, but what I learn along the way always provides just what I need for the fulfillment of my soul’s purpose (and beautiful country too!)

Much Love,

Questions for Reflection:

  • How do you tune into your Inner Knowing?
  • What signs does your soul send you?
  • What unexpected journey have you taken that’s provided you with invaluable lessons?

The Confidence of Conviction

Right after becoming a licensed minister, I met with a seasoned minister who counseled me about how to fund a new venture. After talking with her I was overwhelmed with the enormity of my endeavor. The reality and scope of my dream hit home and I began to judge myself as small, incapable, and unworthy of creating what I want to create. I was paralyzed by fear.

So I took it into spiritual practice. During meditation new ideas began to flow and I was guided back to the power of the creative process. I was reminded that the fear and overwhelm are not my reality. I was reminded that I’ve been given gifts, talents, skills, experiences, resources, and relationships to support my work, my ministry, and my dreams. In fact, my dreams are seeds planted within me by the Divine. The same power that planted it there is the same power that grows it.

As possibility began to grow in my mind, excitement began to grow in my heart. I was brought back to the delight and enthusiasm of creating something new. I reconnected with the Infinite Presence and Power of God that is always with me, within and all around, waiting and wanting to co-create with me. Trusting that there is nothing for me to do to prove myself worthy, I moved deeper into the receptivity of faith, taking note of the potential things I could do and people who might be able to help.

It’s not always easy to stay in the confidence of conviction. As I move forward, additional fears, worries, and concerns continue to come up. But, they do not have the power to stop me. Why? Because I am committed to rise up in faith. I will continue to show up for my dreams because they have shown up within me. There is a Divine Purpose planted within me and I am dedicated to nourishing it into life.

Now I’m curious. What is your dream? Are you willing to spend some time with it? You see, I believe the world needs each one of us to bring our dreams to life. Furthermore, your soul needs you to bring your dream into life. Your health, your heart, your joy, and your purpose not only enrich your life. They make a monumental difference in the lives of others. 

Journal prompts for you:

  • What is your dream?
  • What is one brave baby step you can take this week?
  • What support do you need?
  • Create an affirmation that will help you keep your focus on possibility, creativity, and fulfillment.

Would you like to connect with me in person about this topic? I’m giving a talk in British Columbia, Canada. Here are all the details:

The Power to Create with Rev Cassandra Rae
Sunday, November 11, 2018
Turnbull Room, Semiahmoo Arts Centre
Located at the South Surrey Recreation & Arts Centre
14601 20th Ave, South Surrey
Sunday Services from 10:30 am – 11:30 am (doors open at 10:00 am)

From Doubt to Possibility

I’m finding it quite challenging to write today. You see, I like to write from a place of clarity and confidence. But, quite frankly not much is clear or confident over here!

I’m in this in between space having finished ministerial training with the Centers for Spiritual Living and waiting to become licensed. I must pass oral panels, which are actually coming up in early August! (Side note: I plan on sharing the experience on Instagram if you want to come along for the journey.) This is the final step in becoming Reverend Cassandra Rae!

The thing is…my path isn’t exactly turning out the way I thought it would. I had this plan for how it would unfold and it’s not happening that way, which is okay…except I’m finding I’m much more attached to the initial plan than I thought I was. 

But, now that I’m writing, I’m realizing that the attachment isn’t really about everything going according to my previous plan. It’s about knowing how and when things will happen. I don’t like not knowing.

All of this is compounded by the fact that I’ve interviewed for a position at an organization and I’m waiting to find out if I got the job or not. Another level of not knowing {yet}.

From this vantage point, it seems as if my future is in other people’s hands and I’m just waiting to find out what’s going to happen. But…

I remember that my intention and my focus have power.

I remember that before new life bursts through the soil that it appears dark and scary.

I remember there are many, many things that are clear about what I want and what I’m passionate about.

I remember that the Universe is conspiring for my good.

I remember that Infinite Possibility is the nature of this Life.

So, I have some work to do. It’s time to get creative. It’s time to give myself some space and remember that while productivity might not look like how it normally looks in my life right now, but this in-between space is productive for the soul. I’m going to let that be enough. 

I’m going to spend some time visioning and visualizing. I’m going to get clear on what I want and why. Job or no job, I am responsible for creating my ministry, for cultivating the life I want to live.

And you know what? I’m excited about what’s to come! I might not know what it is {yet}. But, I know it will be good. 

UPDATE: I did not get the job I had applied for. While I am disappointed, I am also trusting that this is the best direction for my life and ministry.