Coach Cassandra Rae

See the rest of my photos on flickr

Have you ever wanted something so much you were afraid to go after it? Yeah, that’s me right now.  I’m in the process of redesigning my coaching website & blog and I really want it to reflect my true heart’s desire.  But, I feel so vulnerable with it all. You see, I want to explore the topics of:

• Connecting with your Soul
• Receiving your Calling
• Creating your Success

But, I’m afraid I’ll fail. Oh my gosh.  It just hit me that I’m making myself a failure before my site has even been published.  Ouch.  Why am I torturing myself?  I guess the torture feels safer than actually opening my internet doors {read: heart} to the world.  It reminds me of this quote:

“Known hells are safer than unknown heavens.” ~ unknown

I wonder…what am I really afraid of? That people won’t like it?  That people won’t hire me?  But, those are all external factors.  If I were working with a client on this challenge I would ask her to focus on the internal factors: her desires, her message, and her heart.  I would ask her to trust her Soul, her Calling, and herself.

Another aspect to my stuck-ness is that I feel like I have to choose between business or spiritual coaching.  Over the last year I’ve worked mainly with women business owners.  In fact, people refer to me as a business coach.  I do have one foot in the business realm and one foot in the spiritual realm.  The business realm feels so easy in that I know the language and where to go to meet people.  It feels so tangible.

The spiritual realm feels so out of reach. I don’t know exactly how it will work or where to go to meet people.  Wait a minute.  That’s so not true!  I mean, it is how a part of me feels.  But, it isn’t true.  The truth is…I’m a part of a national spirtual community that has totally transformed my life.  I’m taking classes in preparation to enter the Licensed Practitioner program.  In fact…

I am an aspiring spiritual leader!

Whoa.  I “said” it out loud.  Yowza.  It wasn’t even that hard or scary.  You know what?  This is one of those times when thinking about it is worse than actually doing it.  I just need to go claim my Calling, write my web copy, and put it out there.  Wahoo!  I’m outta here…

{fyi ~ my blog is moving to SimplyFearless.com ~ more news to follow when I launch}

Tags: confidence, courage, decisions, fear, Life Coaching, spirituality, success

100. {12/30/09} Oh my heaven…today’s the last day of the 100 Things I Fear challenge!  And to celebrate I left my family at home, drove up to Sacramento, and got together for drinks with Ronna.  I met Ronna on-line and it’s a bit scary to make that transition from on-line friends to in-person friends.  My teenage daughter was like, “How can you do this? You tell me not to do this!”  But, Ronna and I have grown an amazing friendship and we meet every week over the phone to support one another in our business development.  I have to admit that there was a small part of me that was like, “What if this chick is going to take advantage of you?” but in my heart I knew it was safe and she is so awesome!  I had so much fun and after connecting with her I felt empowered and capable.  What a fabulous way to complete this challenge.  Woohoo!

Now, I’m going to bed.  You see, although this blog post is being published on 2/24 at 9:18am, it’s actually 10:30pm on 1/2!  I just spent the entire day writing and scheduling 56 blog posts to share all the fears I faced.  Whew.  I am really ready for bed.

Goodnight!

Tags: 100 Things I Fear, courage, fear, Relationships

99. {12/29/09}  Today I reconnected with an extended family member that I haven’t seen for about 7-8 years.  I was nervous, but it was fun.  All I had to do was be myself and that’s easy :~)

Tags: 100 Things I Fear, courage, Family, fear

98. {12/28/09} Today I gave myself permission to focus on work even though The Fam was off of work and school.  I went to a 3 hour writing session, held my monthly coaching call, and posted to my blog.  It was wonderful.  Oh yeah, and I asked The Hubs to help out with The Girl so that I could work some more!  It felt so good to do my thing even though part of me was like, “You’re supposed to be focusing on family right now.”  It just amazes me how black and white that pesky little voice of fear is.  As if I’m a bad mother if I’m not 100% focused on family all the time.  That’s ridiculous and I’m proud of myself for not holding myself to an unobtainable standard.

Tags: 100 Things I Fear, courage, Family, fear, motherhood, Parenting

97. {12/27/09} Today I wrote a totally and completely honest email invitation to my subscribers.  It’s not that I have written non-honest emails in the past.  But, this email was written from a more vulnerable place.  I simply shared the truth about where I was at without trying to pretty it up.  And I got such a great responses back too!  Yippee :~)

Tags: 100 Things I Fear, courage, fear, honesty

96. {12/26/09} Today I told my daughter that I didn’t want to go shopping with her because it was the truth.  I really didn’t feel like shopping.  But, I felt so bad because it was our first day back together after a week holiday and fear said that “a good mother would spend every waking moment with her daughter.”  Oh yeah, I’m letting that one go!  Because a truly good mother is an honest one who shows her daughter that it’s okay to do your own thing.

Tags: 100 Things I Fear, courage, fear, Parenting

94. {12/24/09} Merry Christmas Eve!  I didn’t shower today!  I put on my jogging clothes and then ran all over town with no makeup and my hair in a ponytail.  I went shopping, shopping, and more shopping.  I bought all the last minute gifts and food stuff I need for tomorrow’s family gatherings.  I must say, it is fearless to gallivant around town au natural :~)

Tags: 100 Things I Fear, courage, fear

95. {12/25/09} Merry Christmas! Today I went to my in-laws without The Hubs who is at home sick.  This is amazing movement for us as the in-laws and I haven’t always gotten along.  But, we’ve done a lot of work over the last couple years and now it’s paying off.  We spend time together because we like one another and want to connect on holidays.  Woohoo!

Tags: 100 Things I Fear, courage, Family, fear, Relationships

93. {12/23/09} Today The Hubs and I traveled back from Florida with my father-in-law, his wife, and my brother-in-law.  We arrived at the airport in two separate vehicles and instead of waiting for the rest of the party I went ahead and checked in and went through security.  Even though fear was saying that I was supposed to wait and go in together,  I gave myself permission to travel at my own speed.  I’m kind of anal about getting through security with plenty of time to spare.  Plus, I wasn’t feeling very social.

You know, one of the things I’ve learned through the 100 Things I Fear challenge is that it’s these little, small, and seemingly insignificant fears that really make a difference in life.  I mean, think about it.  How many times a day are you letting that whisper of fear call the shots? I challenge you to pay attention and the next time you hear it, say no, and choose for yourself who and how you are going to be.

Tags: 100 Things I Fear, courage, Family, fear, Relationships

92. {12/22/09} I ordered a glass of wine with lunch & dinner!  I was dining with some Christian folk and I was totally afraid of offending them by drinking a glass of wine.  But, when it came down to it I decided that it was okay to drink what I wanted to drink.  And I did.  And it didn’t offend anyone.  Well, at least that I know of!

Tags: 100 Things I Fear, courage, fear, religion