Welcome to the magical world of transformation…

I just finished exposing my fears, concerns, and reservations about knowing and living my purpose with my peer coach John. Whew! What a process.

I learned that my fears lead me down a dark and twisted road, but if I keep walking through them the road straightens out and the light of awareness rises just like the sun. In fact, if I were to become a bird and fly high up above this path I’m on I could see that the dark, twisted parts of the road are only small bits that come right before long stretches of beautiful country!

I also learned that even when I know my purpose, I do not always have to follow it. I get to choose at every step along the way because I always have the right to continue, stop, slow down, or turn around all together.

I cannot tell you how much of a relief all of this is. Wait a minute. Yes, I can. This is such a relief!

And furthermore, I realized that part of why I’ve been getting in my own way is because so much of the fear I wasn’t processing was rooted in the fear of losing my husband. There was no way I could move forward without addressing these fears because it quite literally wasn’t safe for me to continue. In other words, continuing meant compromising my marriage. And I’m not saying that the fear of losing my husband was rational, but it doesn’t matter if the fear is rational or not. The point was I needed to address the fear so that I could make it safe for me to continue. In fact, now I am grateful to myself for getting in my own way because it gave me the opportunity to slow down and fully embrace the fear. I know this sounds backwards, but what I have done is embraced the fear away!

Woohoo!

Now I have to sign off because I’m going to go spend the next hour and a half with my husband before the ladies come over for the spa party I’m throwing :~)

{note: you can read Know Your Purpose – part 1 here}

Tags: fear, know your purpose, marriage

“Beauty”
Photo Artwork by Me!

I didn’t want to get up this morning at 5:25 to meditate.  But, I did.  Well, okay, I got up at 5:28!

I’ve never gotten up this early to meditate before and to be honest with you I’m falling asleep.  I mean, I do this before I take Gracie out for a pee and my morning coffee.  Certainly, caffeine can’t be the best thing for meditation, but neither is sleeping!

I’m doing a new form of meditation I learned at the workshop over the weekend.  It’s very different from what I’m accustomed to and I’m thinking it might not be the best form for me.  Basically, I’m supposed to sit comfortable in a chair with my eyes closed and repeat a Sanskrit word in my mind for 20 minutes.  In the past, I’ve followed Cheri Huber’s recommendation of sitting comfortable with eyes open but not focused counting my breath with my hands folding inside of one another creating a circle in my lap.  When I follow this method, I keep a clipboard with a piece of paper and a pen on it so that I can jot down notes as the thoughts simply flow out of me.  In the new way, I am supposed to finish the meditation first and journal afterwards.  Quite frankly, I haven’t had much to journal because I’m so focused on repeating the word in my head and not falling asleep.

Overall, I’m proud of myself for giving this new method a try and I’m going to give it some more time to see how it grows – or not!

On another note, I’m so glad that Hubs is home!  I realized that I have way more confidence when he is around.  I just feel grounded and safe.  It was fun being young with no responsibilities, but it’s better being married!  Love ya, Hon :~)

One last thing to share, I start the Know Your Purpose Teleseminar today and I’m so excited!!!!  Can’t wait to share more about what I’m learning.

Now I’ve gotta run to Women’s Inspiration Group!

Tags: know your purpose, life, marriage, meditation