Welcome to the magical world of transformation…

Last week I shared with you how a really challenging experience with my 18 year old daughter led me straight into the heart of God.  It was one of those pivotal moments where there was no way to be the same afterward.  And then something amazing happened…

The very next day my daughter came home from school upset.  She plopped down on her bed, put her head in her hands, and said, “I need some mommy therapy.”

Just the fact that my usually very private, I-can-do-everything-by-myself daughter was openly asking for my support grabbed my attention and I was immediately by her side.  She started talking and crying.  I asked her if I could give her a hug and she agreed.

And then the magic…

I simply held her as she poured her heart out.  It was a genuine moment where I got to be the nurturing mom I’ve always wanted to be.  I listened.  I soothed.  And I encouraged.  All while letting her have her feelings.  It was beautiful.  And what’s even better is that it didn’t end in a fight!

You see, in the past when we’ve tried to have these “mommy therapy” sessions I would inadvertently say the wrong thing, setting her off and we would both walk away hating each other and feeling worse than before.

But, that’s not what happened this time.  Nope.  This time we authentically connected.  I felt compassion and love for her.  I didn’t try to rush her out of her bad feelings.  Instead I just gave her space to express them.  Wow!  What a contrast from the past.  I feel like such a different mom.

It was like the moment I stopped beating myself up for not being nurturing enough, I became nurturing!  And allowing myself to be nurtured gave me the space to turn around and be nurturing.

Artwork Inspiration by KatHannah

Is there anything that you’re beating yourself up for?

Right now, in this moment, are you willing to give yourself a break?

It could be that when you stop pushing so hard against yourself, you just might find the you you’ve always wanted to be.

Tags: motherhood, nurturing, Parenting, Relationships, self esteem, teens

98. {12/28/09} Today I gave myself permission to focus on work even though The Fam was off of work and school.  I went to a 3 hour writing session, held my monthly coaching call, and posted to my blog.  It was wonderful.  Oh yeah, and I asked The Hubs to help out with The Girl so that I could work some more!  It felt so good to do my thing even though part of me was like, “You’re supposed to be focusing on family right now.”  It just amazes me how black and white that pesky little voice of fear is.  As if I’m a bad mother if I’m not 100% focused on family all the time.  That’s ridiculous and I’m proud of myself for not holding myself to an unobtainable standard.

Tags: 100 Things I Fear, courage, Family, fear, motherhood, Parenting

It used to be that the “best” moms were ones that did everything all the time for everyone without ever asking for anything return.  Yeah well, that was until we smartened up and realized that being everything to everyone is not only impossible, it’s crazy!

My Inspiration Lounge is taking a stand to redefine motherhood and has just launched the My Mom Rocks! contest:

What is a “Mom” Really?

June Cleaver used to epitomize the American Mom. Ok, we know June Cleaver was swell. But, really, she is just one definition of a “mom”, and very different from many of the moms of the new millennium! We even think the term “mom” should be redefined! A mom* can be any woman in your life who supports your dreams, builds your confidence, listens to you, is there for you, shows compassion, and just plain inspires you to be a better version of yourself!! Sure, sometimes she is actually your mother, but maybe she’s a grandmother, a friend’s mother, a teacher, a mentor, an aunt, a neighbor…you tell us who she is and why your mom* rocks!!

I personally adore Misty Gibbs (the founder of My Inspiration Lounge) and invite you to click here to enter a woman (or 2, 3, etc) who has been an instrumental part of your Mom Team!  There are some really cool prizes.  In fact, I hear there are even ones that haven’t been announced yet…

Tags: contest, Family, inspiration, mom, motherhood, My Inspiration Lounge, My Mom Rocks, prizes

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Part of me really wants to forget that it ever happened. There seems to be such comfort in pretending it’s not there. That he’s not there. And he can’t hurt her. Or me.

But, there’s another part of me who understands that hiding is what he wants. And I’m not going to give him what he wants. He messed with the wrong family. The wrong girls.

And yet, maybe he messed with the right girls. Because we didn’t sit down and take it. We didn’t run and hide. Nope. Instead we called the police.

And now he has a lot of time on his hands to think about chasing girls down on the street. About harassing a teenager. His view is the back of a closed and locked door. He is soon to see the inside of a court room. To look into the eyes of a judge. To make a plea. And justice will unwind, wrapping him up in boundaries he can’t place for himself.

Part of me really wants to forget.  But, unlike him I know better.  I will remember.

So that I can remember to wrap her in my arms.  Tell her it’s okay.  Allow her to cry.  To cry with her.  And remind her that she is strong and safe.

Yes, the world might be dangerous at times.  But, I am not willing to carry it around with me.  Instead, I choose to carry the pride that we faced the danger and did the right thing.  That the fear didn’t stop us…even when she was facing it alone, it didn’t stop her.  Now we face the future together and I know that it’s going to be okay.  I know that we have made a difference.  That we have saved the lives of others.

That we have saved ourselves.  And each other.

Tags: courage, fear, inspiration, love, motherhood, Parenting, Relationships

Give to Humanity… (repost)

Photo artwork by ~Aphrodite

Read the articles that inspired these comments:

I wrote, “The best and most rewarding moves in life are those we make with our eyes closed and heart’s wide open.”

Inspiration from Another little boy I once spent a lot of time with. written by Sarcastic Mom

I wrote, “Oh my goodness…thank you so much for writing this beautiful article! It’s about time we bust through the illusion of heart-breaking perfectionism and realize that true perfection is when we embrace our humanity…messy houses, dirty kids, and all.”

Inspiration from Motherhood: It Just Ain’t Natural written by Lotus Carroll

I wrote, “What an awesome tribute to nurturing yourself through the natural (and unstoppable) flow of life. You are an awesome mom! BTW, this is my first time to your blog and it is *BEAUTIFUL*!”

Inspiration from Weaning Myself written by growing a life

I wrote, “Embracing and exposing your humanity – like you did in this post – is one of the greatest and best gifts to give your daughters. You are an incredibly strong woman and mother.”

Inspired by The Powerlessness of Three written by The Wink

I highly recommend reading all of them. They are amazing!

{on another note – I’m still on holiday, but I return this afternoon and promise to share photos. Lots and lots of photos. }

Tags: bloggers, blogging, Family, humanity, motherhood, naked, nurturing, perfection