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	<title>Welcome to the magical world of transformation... &#187; negative self talk</title>
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	<itunes:summary>The personal blog of Life Coach Cassandra Rae, founder of SimplyFearless.com</itunes:summary>
	<itunes:author>Coach Cassandra Rae</itunes:author>
	<itunes:explicit>no</itunes:explicit>
	<itunes:image href="http://www.cassandrarae.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/me.jpg" />
	<itunes:owner>
		<itunes:name>Coach Cassandra Rae</itunes:name>
		<itunes:email>cassandra@simplyfearless.com</itunes:email>
	</itunes:owner>
	<managingEditor>cassandra@simplyfearless.com (Coach Cassandra Rae)</managingEditor>
	<copyright>2008-2009</copyright>
	<itunes:subtitle></itunes:subtitle>
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		<title>Welcome to the magical world of transformation... &#187; negative self talk</title>
		<url>http://simplyfearless.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/p10500881.jpg</url>
		<link>http://www.cassandrarae.com</link>
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	<itunes:category text="Religion &amp; Spirituality">
		<itunes:category text="Spirituality" />
		<itunes:category text="Other" />
	</itunes:category>
	<itunes:category text="Health" />
		<item>
		<title>100 Things I Fear: success is a choice</title>
		<link>http://www.cassandrarae.com/100-things-i-fear-success-is-a-choice/</link>
		<comments>http://www.cassandrarae.com/100-things-i-fear-success-is-a-choice/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 06 Feb 2010 16:12:32 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Cassandra Rae</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[100 Things I Fear]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Life Coaching]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Solopreneurs & Blogging]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[courage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fear]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[negative self talk]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[success]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.cassandrarae.com/?p=1254</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[80. {12/10/09} Oh I hosted the first Simply Fearless Fempreneur Brainstorming Party tonight!  It was so much fun and turnout was great.  One thing that totally took me by surprise was how I was beating myself up with criticism during the event.  I found myself thinking things like: &#8220;People aren&#8217;t getting enough out of their [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>80. {12/10/09} Oh I hosted the first Simply Fearless Fempreneur Brainstorming Party tonight!  It was so much fun and turnout was great.  One thing that totally took me by surprise was how I was beating myself up with criticism during the event.  I found myself thinking things like:</p>
<p>&#8220;People aren&#8217;t getting enough out of their brainstorming sessions.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;I should have given my 30 second introduction.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;I should have allowed everyone to introduce themselves.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Why didn&#8217;t I do a centering exercise at the beginning?&#8221;</p>
<p>Basically, all of these thoughts were fear telling me I&#8217;m not good enough.  But, the truth is&#8230;the event was a smashing success!  In fact, I received so many emails afterwards telling me how empowering and awesome it was.  So I choose to focus on the success and make any necessary adjustments for the next one.</p>
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		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
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		<title>100 Things I Fear: sitting in the front row</title>
		<link>http://www.cassandrarae.com/100-things-i-fear-sitting-in-the-front-row/</link>
		<comments>http://www.cassandrarae.com/100-things-i-fear-sitting-in-the-front-row/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 05 Feb 2010 16:04:01 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Cassandra Rae</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[100 Things I Fear]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[courage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fear]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[negative self talk]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.cassandrarae.com/?p=1252</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[79. {12/09/09} Oh my gosh&#8230;what an exciting day!  I went to an event in San Francisco and I didn&#8217;t know very many people plus I was by myself.  When it came to finding a seat I noticed that I wanted to sit in the front row, but was judging myself for it.  Fear said, &#8220;Only [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>79. {12/09/09} Oh my gosh&#8230;what an exciting day!  I went to an event in San Francisco and I didn&#8217;t know very many people plus I was by myself.  When it came to finding a seat I noticed that I wanted to sit in the front row, but was judging myself for it.  Fear said, &#8220;Only &#8216;squares&#8217; sit in the front row.&#8221; I heard the voice and replied, &#8220;You know what? I get to sit wherever I&#8217;d like to sit,&#8221; and I promptly sat down right in the front with no shame.  And guess what? I ended up sitting right next to <a href="http://www.dreamcoach.com/" target="_blank"><strong>Marcia Wieder</strong></a>, the founder of <a href="http://www.dreamcoach.com/" target="_blank"><strong>Dream University</strong></a> and a super successful coach.  It was so cool!  I got to introduce myself and she said that I radiate beauty.  What an amazing compliment and experience!  And to think&#8230;I would have never had it if I had listened to fear and sat in the back where all the &#8216;cool&#8217; people are.</p>
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		<title>100 Things I Fear: not enough clients</title>
		<link>http://www.cassandrarae.com/100-things-i-fear-not-enough-clients/</link>
		<comments>http://www.cassandrarae.com/100-things-i-fear-not-enough-clients/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 07 Jan 2010 16:59:47 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Cassandra Rae</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[100 Things I Fear]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Solopreneurs & Blogging]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[courage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fear]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[negative self talk]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self-care]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.cassandrarae.com/?p=1192</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[50. {11/10/09} Fear says, &#8220;You don&#8217;t have enough clients to take the day off.&#8221;  I reply, &#8220;I am enough and taking care of myself is the best way to take care of my business.  This day is mine.&#8221;]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>50. {11/10/09} Fear says, &#8220;You don&#8217;t have enough clients to take the day off.&#8221;  I reply, &#8220;I am enough and taking care of myself is the best way to take care of my business.  This day is mine.&#8221;</p>
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		<slash:comments>4</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Running to and through my fears</title>
		<link>http://www.cassandrarae.com/running-to-and-through-my-fears/</link>
		<comments>http://www.cassandrarae.com/running-to-and-through-my-fears/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 29 Sep 2009 18:35:34 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Cassandra Rae</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Health & Body]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Life Coaching]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self Reflection]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[100 Things I Fear]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[courage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fear]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[negative self talk]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[success]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.cassandrarae.com/?p=1071</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I saw him a few feet away from the gushing water. &#8220;Oh! I wonder what happened?&#8221; I thought. I kept running and realized that he was a city worker cleaning the gutters before the rainy season kicks in.  I wanted to say thank you to him for helping us create such a beautiful community, but [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a title="Dark Beauty by Simply Fearless Cassandra Rae, on Flickr" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/cassandrarae/2236940895/"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2280/2236940895_a5bd46cd0b.jpg" alt="Dark Beauty" width="375" height="500" /></a></p>
<p>I saw him a few feet away from the gushing water.</p>
<p>&#8220;Oh! I wonder what happened?&#8221; I thought.</p>
<p>I kept running and realized that he was a city worker cleaning the gutters before the rainy season kicks in.  I wanted to say thank you to him for helping us create such a beautiful community, but my pace carried me through the puddles quickly and he was already behind me.</p>
<p>&#8220;Oh well.  Maybe next time.&#8221; I consoled myself knowing that I wouldn&#8217;t say it next time either.  It&#8217;s just too weird for some random runner to say something so personal to a stranger.  So I let it all go with my next exhale and got on with my run.</p>
<p>On the way home, I rounded the corner by the church and low and behold who do you think was now cleaning the gutters up ahead a block?! Yup, it was him.  The city worker had progressed down the street and I was once again approaching him.  But, this time I had plenty of time to figure out what I was going to say and say it.  Crap! Why did the &#8220;next time&#8221; have to be so close to the first time?</p>
<p>The voice of fear kicked in and said, &#8220;What kind of freak gives compliments to city workers? He doesn&#8217;t care what you think.  Just keep on running.  No one will ever know you thought about saying thanks and didn&#8217;t.&#8221;</p>
<p>Whew.  What was I going to do? <a href="http://www.cassandrarae.com/im-not-going-to-let-fear-stop-me-are-you/"><strong>Was I going to give in to fear and say nothing?</strong></a> Or was I going to risk looking like a freak?</p>
<p>One step in front of the next.</p>
<p>Heart pounding.</p>
<p>Out of breath.</p>
<p>Here he is.</p>
<p>&#8220;Thank you!&#8221; I said and smiled at him.</p>
<p>He looked up startled.</p>
<p>We made eye contact.</p>
<p>&#8220;For all that you do for our community,&#8221; I explained.</p>
<p>His expression softened into a smile, &#8220;You&#8217;re welcome.&#8221;</p>
<p>The surge of exhilaration I felt prompted me to jump over the next puddle!  I almost cleared it.  Instead I splashed right on by and ran the rest of the way home with a big ass smile.</p>
<p>&#8211;</p>
<p>This <a href="http://www.cassandrarae.com/100-things-i-fear/"><strong>100 Things I Fear</strong></a> challenge rocks it!  Feel free to join us at any time.</p>
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		<item>
		<title>Are you enough? Only you can decide</title>
		<link>http://www.cassandrarae.com/are-you-enough-only-you-can-decide/</link>
		<comments>http://www.cassandrarae.com/are-you-enough-only-you-can-decide/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 12 Jun 2009 15:03:33 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Cassandra Rae</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Life Coaching]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self Reflection]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[attitude]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[celebrate]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[coaching]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[confidence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[negative self talk]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[productivity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self esteem]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[success]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.cassandrarae.com/?p=876</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[If you keep focusing on that which stands in between you and your dreams you might not ever get there. I realized this morning that I keep focusing on all the things I haven&#8217;t done or I&#8217;m not doing in my coaching practice.  There&#8217;s this underlying energy that I&#8217;m not good enough or doing enough.  [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p style="text-align: center;"><a title="LinkedIn by Simply Fearless Cassandra Rae, on Flickr" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/cassandrarae/3554742159/"><img class="aligncenter" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2459/3554742159_4a93ae9ed1.jpg" alt="LinkedIn" width="500" height="333" /></a><em>If you keep focusing on that which stands in between you and your dreams you might not ever get there.</em></p>
<p>I realized this morning that I keep focusing on all the things I haven&#8217;t done or I&#8217;m not doing in my coaching practice.  There&#8217;s this underlying energy that I&#8217;m not good enough or doing enough.  And yet, I have more clients now than I&#8217;ve ever had before.</p>
<p>Why am I not celebrating?!</p>
<p>So this morning I decided that I am enough and it&#8217;s okay to stop believing that I&#8217;m not.</p>
<p>The first step really is choosing to be different.  There&#8217;s always going to be something else you could do, so it really does come down to making a choice to allowing yourself to be enough right now just as you are.  And truth be told, you really can accomplish more when you come from a loving place of acceptance.</p>
<p>What a great way to begin my weekend!  Now I give myself permission to go see a movie with the Hubs this morning &#8211; he needs to take some vacation days this month and my favorite theater is selling $6 tickets for all am shows on Fridays.  What a great way to celebrate!</p>
<p>Now what can you do to celebrate all that you&#8217;ve already accomplished?</p>
<hr />I had fun updating the color scheme on <a href="http://www.cassandrarae.com/"><strong>my blog</strong></a> this week.  What do you think?  Also, please don&#8217;t forget to <a href="http://gocitykids.parentsconnect.com/parents-picks/san-francisco-ca-usa/best-san-francisco-local-blog"><strong>vote for me</strong></a>!</p>
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		<title>Simply Notice How You Speak to Yourself</title>
		<link>http://www.cassandrarae.com/simply-notice-how-you-speak-to-yourself/</link>
		<comments>http://www.cassandrarae.com/simply-notice-how-you-speak-to-yourself/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 09 Mar 2009 17:07:30 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Cassandra Rae</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Life Coaching]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[negative self talk]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[success]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.cassandrarae.com/?p=779</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Yesterday I posted about how negative self talk keeps you stuck.  Well, the crazy thing is&#8230; &#8230;negative self talk is a natural part of being human. What?! Well then how are you supposed to get over it? For starters, you don&#8217;t have to get over it all.  The first step is to simply notice it. [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Yesterday I posted about how negative self talk keeps you stuck.  Well, the crazy thing is&#8230;</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><strong>&#8230;negative self talk is a natural part of being human.</strong></p>
<p>What?! Well then how are you supposed to get over it? For starters, you don&#8217;t have to get over it all.  The first step is to simply notice it.</p>
<p>Think about it.  If you don&#8217;t know you are speaking to yourself like crap, then how the heck are you going to change it?</p>
<p>And when I say &#8220;simply notice&#8221; I don&#8217;t mean judge yourself for your self talk.  Oh and by the way everyone who is humand and alive speaks to him/herself.  It&#8217;s not just for the crazies.</p>
<p>The key here is that successful people aren&#8217;t wasting time beating themselves up.  Nope.  In fact, successful people spend time recognizing their efforts even when they fail.  Yes, that&#8217;s right <strong>successful people fail</strong>.  In fact, they probably fail more than most because they are putting themselves out there more.</p>
<p>So I encourage you to set an intention to notice how you speak to yourself.  And watch what happens when you simply notice!</p>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Do you ever tell yourself that you&#8217;re not good enough?</title>
		<link>http://www.cassandrarae.com/do-you-ever-tell-yourself-that-youre-not-good-enough/</link>
		<comments>http://www.cassandrarae.com/do-you-ever-tell-yourself-that-youre-not-good-enough/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 08 Mar 2009 17:01:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Cassandra Rae</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Life Coaching]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[change]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[negative self talk]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self esteem]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[transformation]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.cassandrarae.com/?p=777</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[It&#8217;s so easy to put yourself down, isn&#8217;t it?  You shouldn&#8217;t have said that. Or how could you have done that? Or what about, what were you thinking? Any of this sound familiar? Well, as a life coach it is my job to help people make their desired changes and achieve their goals.  And guess [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>It&#8217;s so easy to put yourself down, isn&#8217;t it?  You shouldn&#8217;t have said that. Or how could you have done that? Or what about, what were you thinking?</p>
<p>Any of this sound familiar?</p>
<p>Well, as a life coach it is my job to help people make their desired changes and achieve their goals.  And guess what? If you are beating up on yourself, then you are keeping yourself stuck.</p>
<p>Seriously.</p>
<p>If you want to move forward in your life, then begin by accepting yourself exactly how you are right now.  As soon as you let go of the need to change, you begin to change.</p>
<p>Sounds crazy right?! That&#8217;s why so many people stay the same!</p>
<p>Play with this idea for awhile and let me know how it works out for you.</p>
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