Feb 10 2010
100 Things I Fear: I’m not perfect!
85. {12/15/09} I can’t find my journal entry for this day! So I’m going to give myself a break and allow it to be okay. I’m sure there was fear and I’m sure I faced it :~)
Tag Archive 'perfectionism'
Jan 28 2009
Project versus Pressure: quit beating yourself up
I have been ultra busy lately, which is good because I tend to function better and happier when I’m busy. But, I’ve also noticed that as I move forward in developing and growing my coaching business I’ve been criticizing myself pretty harshly. This is normal as I’m stepping into new and unknown territories for the first time. But, it’s also not helping me.
So what do I do?
Well, one of the things I decided to do for today is to let go of one of my projects. I’m not letting it go for good. I’m only letting it go for today. You see, it’s a big one for me. And it’s so cool. It’s an 8 week coaching program all about designing, creating, and living your simply fearless life. Mmmm. I love it!
And yet, I’ve also been putting a lot of pressure on myself because of it. I say things in my head like, “You should be promoting this now. You should have this done now. You shouldn’t be stressing over the details. Just put it out there already.”
Of course, all of these thoughts have stunted the creation process and caused me to feel horrible about it. Yeah, not helping.
Today is jam packed with appointments back-to-back all the way through dinner. So I’ve decided to give myself full permission to let it go for today. There’s no worrying. No pressure. And tomorrow I get to pick it back up and continue working on it.
What this really means is that today I give myself full permission to let go of the pressure of creating something new. I release myself from any and all expectation surrounding this project. Yes, it’s important. Yes, I will finish the set-up and invite people to sign up. But, I’m no longer willing to beat myself up in the process.
Whew! I feel so much better. And much more prepared to walk through my schedule today as I’m not carrying a big bag full of negative thoughts and punishment. I am free!
And tomorrow when I focus my attention back on the 8 week program, I will pick up the project and not the pressure!
**UPDATE**
I wrote this post before going to the gym this morning. When I was working out at the gym I realized that I was running faster and easier. I learned that when I let go of the mental and emotional pressure that physically I perform better and stronger. How cool is that?!
Oct 22 2008
Free On-line Coaching: perfecting perfectionism
“It is what it is”
Photo artwork by Me!
Okay so the last 2 days have been CRAP! But, today I feel back to my usual chipper self because I finally got to a point where I admitted I needed a break and I gave myself permission to take one. Not only did I rest physically, but I let go of feeling like I needed to keep doing stuff and allowed myself to take a mental and emotional break from building my coaching practice…well, from everything really. And it felt amazing…especially the part when I was soaking in the hot tub :~)
And then this morning I received an email from Coach Vanessa letting me know that she had posted an answer for me on her blog. She writes a column and actually offers FREE on-line coaching. Isn’t that so cool?! Plus the coaching she gave me is phenomenal! Here’s what I asked her:
Hi Coach Vanessa ~
Perfectionism has been a big challenge for me. Do you have any advice about how to release perfectionism so that I can jump in and play the game of life bigger and funner?! Thanks :~)
Simply Fearless ~
Cassandra
***
Hi Cassandra,
Great question. A good starting place would be…{click here to continue reading and post your insightful comments}
If you’d like to submit your own question to receive free on-line coaching from Coach Vanessa, then email her directly by clicking here.
Sep 10 2008
Giving Up Perfectionism is One of the Best Things I’ve Ever Done!
“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.” ~ Anna Quindlen
Life truly is better when you give up the perfection and simply shine in your unique self!
This is what I have been doing lately and it is working beautifully. People are showing up in my life. Opportunities abound. And I feel so free to be me :~)
I’ve also been able to accomplish a whole heck of a lot in an incredibly short amount of time. Take a look…
- 1. I created a whole new blog, newsletter, and coaching group for Solopreneurs.
- 2. I gave a presentation to the Natural Healers Network about using blogging and facebook as tools to grow your personal and professional lives. It was so much fun and they were a fabulous crowd:
- 3. I became a contributing writer/photographer for Photo Bliss – a channel on Blissfully Domestic – and my very first article went live today! Please go check it out and post your thoughts. Your support means a whole heck of a lot to me.
And I didn’t sacrifice my personal life in the process. In fact, last weekend I went on a camping trip with my family – including Gracie – and my daughter’s boyfriend, Noah. I hope to post photos soon.
The bottom line is that life is better, easier, simpler when I let go of the suffocating pressure of perfectionism. I know there will still be times when I will succumb to the lure of perfectionism. But, now I know how to pick myself up, dust myself off, and get back to shining! And I invite you to do the same.
Aug 29 2008
Request for Your Advice
Gracie & Me
It feels like the last 2 weeks were swallowed in one big gulp.
Have you ever had a Big Gulp from 7-11? I just drank one on a road trip I took with my husband up to Cache Creek for a white water rafting trip where I was tossed out of our raft multiple times and sent floating down the rapids with only my water shoes and life jacket (um – I just skipped back to read this paragraph and I must add that I also had my bikini on :~) Yeah, I’m bruised and scraped, but alive and all my limbs in tact. Whew!
But anyhow, I think I’ve been MIA because I go through these cycles where I put myself out there to the extreme and then I have to hide and recharge. And the cycle isn’t so much about what I’m doing (i.e. blogging). It’s more about the amount of pressure I put on myself. You see, I have this nasty habit of holding myself to super high standards – nothing short of perfection of course. And it’s so god damned debilitating. It’s like I ping pong from one extreme to the other: fully exposed and completely hidden.
It would be nice to find a balance.
But, more importantly, it would be nice to let go of the perfection pressure. So I’d like to here from you. How do you process perfectionism? How do you balance putting yourself out there without getting completely drained? What do you do to release the pressure of parenting, work, family, etc.? Please share your wisdom and experience with me. I need it.
*photo note: I always like seeing photos of the bloggers I visit so I thought I would post a new photo of me and Gracie that my husband Will took.
Jul 08 2008
Confusion is a Gift from God
It takes a lot of strength to stand in the frightening space of “I don’t know.” There’s this push – by society, our families, ourselves – to have everything figured out and broken down into nice, neat little steps.
But, then life happens. Emotions come crashing in. Confusion swirls all around. And we find ourselves losing our grasp on who we thought we were and questioning everything.
And to that end I scream, “Hallelujah!”
Because we don’t figure out who we are when we’ve got it all figured out. Nope. We learn who we are and what we’re made of through that dark space of I don’t know because it inspires us to open doors and windows into our soul.
We feel misery and we search for more.
We feel pain and we search for healing.
We feel confused and we begin to question.
So that we can discover who we really are beneath our careers, our roles, our clothes, our makeup.
And we are beautiful.
We are talented.
We are playful.
We are sensitive.
We are human.
And as much as I hate feeling confused, I know that it is a gift from God. It is a message from my deepest knowing that is asking me to slow down, shine that light of awareness, and throw open a new window. Yes, it’s scary. And uncomfortable. But, it’s worth it. Because pretending I’ve got it all figured out and hiding behind perfectionism is a death sentence I’m not willing to serve.
