Welcome to the magical world of transformation…

Last week I shared with you how a really challenging experience with my 18 year old daughter led me straight into the heart of God.  It was one of those pivotal moments where there was no way to be the same afterward.  And then something amazing happened…

The very next day my daughter came home from school upset.  She plopped down on her bed, put her head in her hands, and said, “I need some mommy therapy.”

Just the fact that my usually very private, I-can-do-everything-by-myself daughter was openly asking for my support grabbed my attention and I was immediately by her side.  She started talking and crying.  I asked her if I could give her a hug and she agreed.

And then the magic…

I simply held her as she poured her heart out.  It was a genuine moment where I got to be the nurturing mom I’ve always wanted to be.  I listened.  I soothed.  And I encouraged.  All while letting her have her feelings.  It was beautiful.  And what’s even better is that it didn’t end in a fight!

You see, in the past when we’ve tried to have these “mommy therapy” sessions I would inadvertently say the wrong thing, setting her off and we would both walk away hating each other and feeling worse than before.

But, that’s not what happened this time.  Nope.  This time we authentically connected.  I felt compassion and love for her.  I didn’t try to rush her out of her bad feelings.  Instead I just gave her space to express them.  Wow!  What a contrast from the past.  I feel like such a different mom.

It was like the moment I stopped beating myself up for not being nurturing enough, I became nurturing!  And allowing myself to be nurtured gave me the space to turn around and be nurturing.

Artwork Inspiration by KatHannah

Is there anything that you’re beating yourself up for?

Right now, in this moment, are you willing to give yourself a break?

It could be that when you stop pushing so hard against yourself, you just might find the you you’ve always wanted to be.

Tags: motherhood, nurturing, Parenting, Relationships, self esteem, teens

100. {12/30/09} Oh my heaven…today’s the last day of the 100 Things I Fear challenge!  And to celebrate I left my family at home, drove up to Sacramento, and got together for drinks with Ronna.  I met Ronna on-line and it’s a bit scary to make that transition from on-line friends to in-person friends.  My teenage daughter was like, “How can you do this? You tell me not to do this!”  But, Ronna and I have grown an amazing friendship and we meet every week over the phone to support one another in our business development.  I have to admit that there was a small part of me that was like, “What if this chick is going to take advantage of you?” but in my heart I knew it was safe and she is so awesome!  I had so much fun and after connecting with her I felt empowered and capable.  What a fabulous way to complete this challenge.  Woohoo!

Now, I’m going to bed.  You see, although this blog post is being published on 2/24 at 9:18am, it’s actually 10:30pm on 1/2!  I just spent the entire day writing and scheduling 56 blog posts to share all the fears I faced.  Whew.  I am really ready for bed.

Goodnight!

Tags: 100 Things I Fear, courage, fear, Relationships

95. {12/25/09} Merry Christmas! Today I went to my in-laws without The Hubs who is at home sick.  This is amazing movement for us as the in-laws and I haven’t always gotten along.  But, we’ve done a lot of work over the last couple years and now it’s paying off.  We spend time together because we like one another and want to connect on holidays.  Woohoo!

Tags: 100 Things I Fear, courage, Family, fear, Relationships

93. {12/23/09} Today The Hubs and I traveled back from Florida with my father-in-law, his wife, and my brother-in-law.  We arrived at the airport in two separate vehicles and instead of waiting for the rest of the party I went ahead and checked in and went through security.  Even though fear was saying that I was supposed to wait and go in together,  I gave myself permission to travel at my own speed.  I’m kind of anal about getting through security with plenty of time to spare.  Plus, I wasn’t feeling very social.

You know, one of the things I’ve learned through the 100 Things I Fear challenge is that it’s these little, small, and seemingly insignificant fears that really make a difference in life.  I mean, think about it.  How many times a day are you letting that whisper of fear call the shots? I challenge you to pay attention and the next time you hear it, say no, and choose for yourself who and how you are going to be.

Tags: 100 Things I Fear, courage, Family, fear, Relationships

91. {12/21/09} I shared my frustration about a situation without attacking anyone.  I was afraid of sharing how I felt, but I simply couldn’t sit back and not say anything.  It actually turned out to be very helpful as everyone learned more about each other in the process.

Tags: 100 Things I Fear, communication, courage, Family, fear, Relationships

90. {12/20/09} Today I went to church with Uncle Bob & Aunt Mary.  I didn’t just do what my father-in-law was doing.  I thought about it and decided for myself where I wanted to go.  I’m so glad I did too because I really enjoyed myself and my father-in-law was totally cool with it.  In fact, afterward he was curious to hear about the service.

You know, on the outside it’s totally obvious that it’s okay to choose for oneself.  And yet, so often we just do what others (especially parents) expect us to do.  But, it really is okay.

Tags: 100 Things I Fear, courage, Family, fear, Relationships

84. {12/14/09} Today I took my daughter to see a homeopathic practitioner and it was such a cool experience.  Mary Jo interviewed both of us about our entire history together.  It was so scary to sit back and listen to my daughter describe her childhood.  I was afraid she was going to attack me and blame me for anything negative.  At times, I did find myself wanting to argue points.  But, the truth is…it was how she experienced it and not me.  I did have space to share my experience too.  Every mother and daughter should go through this process together.  It’s scary, but eye-opening and can really help you start over together if you have a lot of history.

Tags: 100 Things I Fear, courage, fear, Parenting, Relationships

75. {12/05/09} Oh I got grouchy today.  Then I snapped at The Hubs.  It was so hard to clean it up because…well, because I was grouchy! But, after a 30 minute silent car ride I apologized for my behavior so that we could arrive at our friend’s house with a light heart.  It really was better to just admit I behaved badly and move on.

Tags: 100 Things I Fear, bad mood, courage, fear, Relationships

69. {11/29/09} Oy.  Triggered again.  Totally frustrated with a situation and person.  But, I shared how I felt, spoke calmly, drew a boundary, and then did what I wanted to do.  It was very liberating and perfect for the situation.

Tags: 100 Things I Fear, courage, fear, humanity, Relationships

61. {11/21/09} Telling a friend out loud and openly that I love her!

Tags: 100 Things I Fear, courage, fear, love, Relationships