100. {12/30/09} Oh my heaven…today’s the last day of the 100 Things I Fear challenge! And to celebrate I left my family at home, drove up to Sacramento, and got together for drinks with Ronna. I met Ronna on-line and it’s a bit scary to make that transition from on-line friends to in-person friends. My teenage daughter was like, “How can you do this? You tell me not to do this!” But, Ronna and I have grown an amazing friendship and we meet every week over the phone to support one another in our business development. I have to admit that there was a small part of me that was like, “What if this chick is going to take advantage of you?” but in my heart I knew it was safe and she is so awesome! I had so much fun and after connecting with her I felt empowered and capable. What a fabulous way to complete this challenge. Woohoo!
Now, I’m going to bed. You see, although this blog post is being published on 2/24 at 9:18am, it’s actually 10:30pm on 1/2! I just spent the entire day writing and scheduling 56 blog posts to share all the fears I faced. Whew. I am really ready for bed.
95. {12/25/09} Merry Christmas! Today I went to my in-laws without The Hubs who is at home sick. This is amazing movement for us as the in-laws and I haven’t always gotten along. But, we’ve done a lot of work over the last couple years and now it’s paying off. We spend time together because we like one another and want to connect on holidays. Woohoo!
93. {12/23/09} Today The Hubs and I traveled back from Florida with my father-in-law, his wife, and my brother-in-law. We arrived at the airport in two separate vehicles and instead of waiting for the rest of the party I went ahead and checked in and went through security. Even though fear was saying that I was supposed to wait and go in together, I gave myself permission to travel at my own speed. I’m kind of anal about getting through security with plenty of time to spare. Plus, I wasn’t feeling very social.
You know, one of the things I’ve learned through the 100 Things I Fear challenge is that it’s these little, small, and seemingly insignificant fears that really make a difference in life. I mean, think about it. How many times a day are you letting that whisper of fear call the shots? I challenge you to pay attention and the next time you hear it, say no, and choose for yourself who and how you are going to be.
91. {12/21/09} I shared my frustration about a situation without attacking anyone. I was afraid of sharing how I felt, but I simply couldn’t sit back and not say anything. It actually turned out to be very helpful as everyone learned more about each other in the process.
90. {12/20/09} Today I went to church with Uncle Bob & Aunt Mary. I didn’t just do what my father-in-law was doing. I thought about it and decided for myself where I wanted to go. I’m so glad I did too because I really enjoyed myself and my father-in-law was totally cool with it. In fact, afterward he was curious to hear about the service.
You know, on the outside it’s totally obvious that it’s okay to choose for oneself. And yet, so often we just do what others (especially parents) expect us to do. But, it really is okay.
84. {12/14/09} Today I took my daughter to see a homeopathic practitioner and it was such a cool experience. Mary Jo interviewed both of us about our entire history together. It was so scary to sit back and listen to my daughter describe her childhood. I was afraid she was going to attack me and blame me for anything negative. At times, I did find myself wanting to argue points. But, the truth is…it was how she experienced it and not me. I did have space to share my experience too. Every mother and daughter should go through this process together. It’s scary, but eye-opening and can really help you start over together if you have a lot of history.
75. {12/05/09} Oh I got grouchy today. Then I snapped at The Hubs. It was so hard to clean it up because…well, because I was grouchy! But, after a 30 minute silent car ride I apologized for my behavior so that we could arrive at our friend’s house with a light heart. It really was better to just admit I behaved badly and move on.
69. {11/29/09} Oy. Triggered again. Totally frustrated with a situation and person. But, I shared how I felt, spoke calmly, drew a boundary, and then did what I wanted to do. It was very liberating and perfect for the situation.
60. {11/20/09} Reconnected with a friend and past client. This was a situation where the relationship came to a sudden halt and I didn’t know why. I let it go for almost a whole year, but my Soul was nudging me to reach out and clean up this relationship, which is exactly what I did. It was so frightening to show up knowing that this person was going to share with me what happened and how I might have been hurtful. And when I was listening, I was triggered. Part of me wanted to defend myself and prove my innocence. But, I stayed present with everything, accepted myself and the other person. We both had space to share, clear the air, and make up. It feels so good now that the air is clear and there are no loose ends to tie up. It was a powerful experience for both of us and we are both better for it. Yay!
Cassandra Rae is an author, life coach, mother, and wife who goes on quiet walks with her camera to bring her hectic life back into peaceful focus. She lives with her husband, teenage daughter, a three-legged cat, and the cutest Chihuahua who ever licked your toes. Yes, this provides her with a lot to photo and blog about. To learn more check out the About Me page.
