Coach Cassandra Rae

92. {12/22/09} I ordered a glass of wine with lunch & dinner!  I was dining with some Christian folk and I was totally afraid of offending them by drinking a glass of wine.  But, when it came down to it I decided that it was okay to drink what I wanted to drink.  And I did.  And it didn’t offend anyone.  Well, at least that I know of!

Tags: 100 Things I Fear, courage, fear, religion

I have the pleasure of working my ass off as Dorothy!  Please join me as it all pays off on stage.  Here is the official announcement & invite:

You are cordially invited to “Ease on Down the Road” as Center for Spiritual Living presents another fun summer series.  Dorothy awakens after an earthquake to find that nothing is as she remembers it – nothing except her bossy, over-bearing sister, “Negative.”  Journey with Dorothy as she tries to find her way home and along the way meets a variety of L. Frank Baum’s most beloved characters, including Scarecrow, Tin Man and Lion – all with a modern twist, of course!  The Wizard of SOM begins June 21st for six consecutive weeks leading up to a beautiful finale on July 26th.  Each musical vignette will be performed at both Sunday services, followed by Rev. David’s fabulous message; so whether you attend the 9:30 or the 11 AM service, you won’t miss out on this delightful trip down the yellow brick road!

Still begging and pleading for you to vote for me!  It’s super easy…just a few clicks away.

Tags: Center for Spiritual Living, inspiration, music, religion, Spirituality & God, theatre

I am so excited (and a bit terrified!) to announce that I am starring in a musical!  Can you believe it? I’m still a bit shocked.  And I’m thrilled to have the opportunity to be Dorothy in the Wizard of SOM at the Center for Spiritual Living in San Jose.

This is an amazing show that was written and directed by two amazing CSL women.  It is an updated, spiritual version of the Wizard of Oz – and a whole heck of a lot of fun!  It’s an awesome script filled with humor, heart, and song.  I hope you can come out and enjoy it.

It is our summer series program, which means that we will be performing a new installment of the play each Sunday beginning on June 21st for 6 Sundays in a row.  Performances are at 9:30 and 11 services and we are located at:

Center for Spiritual Living
1195 Clark Street
San Jose, CA 95125
Phone (408) 294-1828

So in order to enjoy the entire production you get to show up every week!  How fun is that? And of course, while you’re there you will find me, give me a hug, and tell me how much you loved my performance!  hee hee hee :~)

Okay, so I know all of you can’t make it every week.  If you must pick and choose a week or two, then I highly recommend you come for weeks 5 & 6 (July 19 & 26).  In both of those weeks I sing a solo!

Get connected at the Center for Spiritual Living

Tags: church, Fun & Friends, performing, religion, Spirituality & God, theatre

You know that I love to post about God and spirituality. Well, if you like these topics too, then you absolutely must read The Shack by William P. Young.  It offers an incredibly unique perspective about God, religion, and our relationships with both.  Plus, it’s literary!  It’s very well-written and the story is super intriguing – it’s about a father who’s daughter has been brutally murdered.  Don’t worry I didn’t give anything away!  The reader knows up front about the daughter, but it’s still a mysterious read.  You’ve gotta read this book…in fact, even if you don’t believe in God.  No wait, especially if you don’t believe in God!

For those of you who are regulars here, then you know that I’ve grappled with Christianity a lot in my lifetime.  Well, this book has inspired me to look at Christianity in a whole new light and believe me, that is huge!

Here, I’ll make it real easy for you to buy the book on-line.  Here’s a direct link to it on Amazon.com:

Happy Reading!

Tags: Book Reviews, church, God, religion, spirituality

Oh my goodness!  This morning’s Active Meditation was incredible!  All of this information about humanity, how we are created, and how to sort it all out simply poured out of me.  I am seriously blown away by the insights I’m receiving.

How are you receiving these insights?

Well, it begins by opening up to it.  And the opening up is based on believing that it’s available.

Oh that’s interesting. Where does it come from?

Well, in my particular belief system it comes from God.  You could also say that it comes from the Universe, Spirit, the Divine, etc.

Who is God to you?

Oh I’m not ready to answer that question!

Why not?

Because I haven’t figured it all out yet.

Well, would you be willing to share what you have figured out?

I still feel a bit hesitant, but I guess I could.  God is the father (and mother) of all religions.  He takes on many forms so that he can connect with everyone.  Different people have different ways of connecting so he makes himself available to everyone.

You paused.

Yeah, I guess I’m feeling like that’s all I want to share right now.

You guess? Or you know?

I know.

Well, thank you for sharing.  And it does bring up an interesting topic that I would like to throw out there for others to comment on:

Who is God to you?

Tags: church, God, religion, Spirituality & God

{part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7}

And I learned that it wasn’t Christianity I was searching for.  It was…

…a closer connection with God and as much as I wanted Christianity to be the vehicle that took me there, it simply isn’t.  Here’s the thing.  I found God by delving deeper and deeper into myself.  I connect with God through a strong connection with myself, my thoughts, my feelings, and my body.  It is by loving and embracing my humanity that I connect with the part of me that…no, that I connect with the core of myself that is God.

I was also searching for a community of people who could help me deepen my connection.  People who were farther along in the process, deeper along in the process.  The plain and simple truth is that Christianity didn’t provide this for me.  Part of me wants to go into all the specific details about why, but that isn’t the point here.  The point is that I gave Christianity a whole-hearted try.  I’m now at this really cool place where I’m no longer afraid of Christianity.  I do not see it as the evil-incarnate I once did.  And I see the value in it and do not judge those for who it serves.  This is HUGE for me!

So I needed to walk through Christianity in my quest for God and I’m so grateful that I did.  I really enjoyed the church I attended.  In fact, Calvary holds a special place in my heart for providing a safe place for me to explore Christianity.  I truly did have a positive experience, which was definitely a big part of setting me free from the fear and judgment I once held onto about religion, God, and Christianity.

I’m still searching for a spiritual community to support me in growing my relationship with God.  This is important to me because I’m a new follower.  I’m just learning how to let go of control while making powerful decisions for myself.  And I do believe that God has a very specific plan for my life.  When I choose to follow it, I experience deep fullfillment and success.  It is a learn-as-you-go process and I get confused a lot.  Maybe “confused” isn’t the right description.  It’s more accurate to say that I get scared along the way.  God does ask me to take bold steps that are frightening.  But, he only asks me to take one step at a time.

So thank you for taking this journey with me as I discover God and his plan for me.  I’m excited to continue to share my life story with you and I believe that great things are in store…divine things are in store for me!

Tags: church, God, religion, Spirituality & God

{part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6}

But, we made it to the next one and…

…before I even walked in I was touched by the community.  I had emailed the leader to let her know that I couldn’t make the first meeting because of the lump in my breast and she emailed me back expressing concern and letting me know that she would be praying for me.  Her kind and simple words of support meant so much to me during a super vulnerable and scary time in my life.

The honeymoon wore off quickly as we delved into the Bible study.  It became clear to me almost instantaneously that I didn’t jive with the material.  I loved the surface messages of trust, love, and dedication, but as soon as we started to dig deeper I ran into some serious objections.  Again, there was this underlying message of humans as less than, God as more than, and the Bible as the end-all, be-all with Jesus leading the way.  As much as I wish I could believe and live this, I simply don’t.  I mean, it would be easier to believe that there is a book with all of the answers I need in it.  It would be easier to connect with my extended family if I walked down the Christian road.  It would be easier if there were people to tell me what is right and wrong.

But, having a relationship with God isn’t about easy – and I’m pretty sure Christians would agree with me here.

My favorite part of the Women’s Bible Study was connecting with other women who were interested in and dedicated to deepening their relationship with God.  At the same time, I was surprised to learn that Christian didn’t mean empowered.  I guess I had built up Christians in my mind as people who were closer to God, which meant that they would have a clearer sense of self, of equality, and be strong leaders.  In short, I put them up on a pedestal of everything I strive to be and decided that being a Christian would take me there.  Boy, what a wake up call it was for me when I heard women demeaning themselves.  I heard women question, “Why would God listen to little old me?” and women who felt almost proud of their suffering because it brought them closer to God.

Part of me wanted to grab them, shake them, and say, “God didn’t create you to suffer and there is plenty of him to go around.  He created you to succeed.  He is there for you all the time and when he listens to you, you aren’t taking him away from someone else.  He wants you to embrace and love yourself.  Heck, he loves you just as you are.  You don’t have to put yourself down or change to be worthy.  He speaks to you through your thoughts, feelings, body, and intuition.  You are an expression of God.  You are part of him and he works through you.  We are all God’s children, just like Jesus.”

But, I realized how threatening these viewpoints are and I shared my views in small doses and as gently as I could.  I wasn’t there to change them.  I was there to learn.  And I learned that it wasn’t Christianity I was searching for.  It was…

Tags: church, God, religion, Spirituality & God

{part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5}

It’s cold, foggy, and wet outside.  What a brilliant day for taking photos!  Which is exactly what I did this morning instead of running <sneaky smile>  Okay, now where was I? Oh yes, as soon as I stepped into the sanctuary, I knew that this church was different and I liked it.  There was an energy.  A friendly and spiritual energy.  Yeah, that’s it: when I entered into this space I immediately felt a closer connection with God.

Once again, I paid very close attention to the lyrics of the music and the message.  I took copious notes and found that I was learning and deepening my connection instead of tweaking the message to work for me.  Oh this was so cool!  And what was even cooler was that I bumped into one of the gals from my Women’s Inspiration Group.  I love going somewhere new and seeing someone I already know.  I feel popular when that happens and I’ve always wanted to be popular <sheepish grin>.

At the same time, this was a large congregation and I felt like an outsider.  I didn’t connect with anyone new and it was easy to attend the service without really putting myself out there.  I could sneak in, have my private moment with God in the crowd, and leave without anyone really knowing I was there or not there.  But, the excitement about finding a Christian community outweighed the fear of being a new, small fish in a big pond.  I decided I liked this church and that I would continue to attend.

And I did.  I attended for months.  And my family went with me too.  They are such good sports.  I’m always asking them to try new things and go new places.  Anyhow, after awhile I decided that I wanted to connect with the people at church at a deeper level so I went to Sunday School.  It was okay.  I liked meeting people in a more intimate setting and having the opportunity to share my view as well.  However, I didn’t care for how the groups were assembled.  It was determined by if you were married and for how long, if you had kids, and what age you and your family are.  I didn’t really fit into any of the categories because I’m young, have a teen, and am in my 2nd marriage.  So I’m in my early 30’s, been married for 4 years, and have a 15 year old daughter.  Yeah, there was not a group for that category!

I did however try on the young couples group and it was okay.  But, it wasn’t worth getting to church 2 hours earlier to attend.  So I let that go and moved on to Women’s Bible Study.  They had a new one starting on Thursday evenings at the same time as the college gathering, which was perfect so that my nephew (who was living with me at the time) and I could go together.

We missed the first Thursday because I had a biopsy that day and was in too much pain (this was during the time when I found a lump in my breast).  But, we made it to the next one and…

{Sorry folks my time is up and I really have to get going because I’m painting my old office today as I move back into my home office.  More to follow tomorrow :~}

Tags: church, God, religion, Spirituality & God

{note: this is part 3 of a series ~ read part 1 and part 2}

It took two years of deepening my connection with myself and others that brought me right into God’s hands.  It happened slowly; one Daily Practice journal entry at a time.  I can still remember the first time I said out loud, “I think I believe in God!”

I was even surprised.  I was at another Women’s Inspiration Group and I hadn’t planned on articulating a belief in God.  I mean, I was still skeptical myself.  But, that’s how it went.  I connected with an amazing group of women.  I felt safe.  I opened up and that’s what came out.  Six words and I began a new, deeper path, “I think I believe in God!”

It felt so good to say it out loud.  It was like I didn’t have to hide it from myself any longer.  I felt free to believe and free to follow in a way that was right for me.  I didn’t have to follow my family on this one.  What a relief!  Of course, at the time I didn’t want to follow at all.  Nope.  It would take another 6 months of convincing that following God is better than trying to make it all happen myself.

Overall, it felt amazing to be at the beginning again.  I knew that I didn’t know exactly who or what God was to me.  But, I also knew that I was going to enjoy finding out.  This was one of those times in my life when I felt comfortable not knowing.  In fact, it was exciting to not know.  I was so curious…like a young child…and ready to gobble up all sorts of new information.  In fact, maybe that’s really what I was at the time.  Yeah, that sounds right.  I was a young child spiritually speaking.  But, the cool thing about being young and vulnerable this time was that I also had an empowered adult within me to help guide me through the process.  I knew I wasn’t going to go down the same path I had gone down previously.  Nope.  This time I was going to go down the empowered path to God.

Or at least that’s what I thought…

Tags: God, religion, Spirituality & God

Yesterday I posed the question, “So how did I go from a God-hater to a God-follower?” and it all started back in 2005 when I had a blood clot in my left eye that created a permanent blind spot in my central vision.  It happened on April 10th just days before my contract ended – I was a tax consultant at the time.  I was working more hours than I had ever worked in my life and my body screamed, “No more!”

I was able to go on short-term medical disability and dedicate 6 months to taking care of myself.  This was the first time in my life I had the luxury of focusing primarily on me and my family.  I’ve always worked hard at school or a job (and lots of times both of them at the same time).  As luck (or God) would have it, I stumbled across a posting on Craigslist for a Women’s Inspiration Group offered by Life Coach Susan Liddy.

I spent the next 6 weeks learning how to process everything and create a life based on my own personal values.  This was the beginning of my true independence as I learned how to value myself separate from all the other in my inner circle.  It was also the beginning of delving deeper into my soul and this is where I found God.

It didn’t happen in one magical moment.  It happened over years of consistently and slowly connecting with more of myself.  I processed years of unprocessed emotions.  I exposed mountains of beliefs I was unconsciously carrying around that kept me disconnected from myself, others, and God.

At first, it was all about getting comfortable with the anger.  There were valid reasons I was so angry at God (I realized later that the anger was more about religion, but at the time I couldn’t see the difference between God and religion) and I needed to give myself space to fully feel it so that I could let it go.

After the anger, there was a lot of sadness.  I shed tears that had been stored up for what felt like my entire life – and maybe they were.

After the tears, there was a big empty space of nothing.  It felt so good to be in a neutral space after living in negativity for so long.  I was finally at a place where I could say that religion really worked for some people and that was okay.  It was also okay that that’s not what worked for me.  This was so beneficial to my family relationships as I had grown into a space of accepting the fact that they were religious and I wasn’t.  It simply wasn’t a big deal anymore.  {I feel the need to note here that this ability came with a lot of other work that I’m not sharing here simply because it’s a whole other story that I might or might not expand upon in future posts.}

Doh! My half an hour is up so I need to sign off for now, but I’m really enjoying writing about this topic and I look forward to sharing more with you.  Have a great Sunday!

Tags: anger, God, Life Coaching, religion, Spirituality & God