Coach Cassandra Rae

80. {12/10/09} Oh I hosted the first Simply Fearless Fempreneur Brainstorming Party tonight!  It was so much fun and turnout was great.  One thing that totally took me by surprise was how I was beating myself up with criticism during the event.  I found myself thinking things like:

“People aren’t getting enough out of their brainstorming sessions.”

“I should have given my 30 second introduction.”

“I should have allowed everyone to introduce themselves.”

“Why didn’t I do a centering exercise at the beginning?”

Basically, all of these thoughts were fear telling me I’m not good enough.  But, the truth is…the event was a smashing success!  In fact, I received so many emails afterwards telling me how empowering and awesome it was.  So I choose to focus on the success and make any necessary adjustments for the next one.

Tags: 100 Things I Fear, courage, fear, negative self talk, success

64. {11/24/09} It’s easiest to explain today’s fear by sharing with you the dialogue from my journal.  The statements in quotes are from my Soul and the statements without quotes are me:

Oh my god. Today I discovered that I’m one of those insecure business women devaluing herself and her services. Now I hate myself for it.  What do I do?

“Well first of all.  There’s no need to panic.  You’re okay.  This new information is going to help you. It’s here to help you.”

Oh okay. But, she’s so weak.  I hate her for it.

“Yes there is a part of you that despises weakness.  That’s why weakness is showing up for you: so that you can embrace that too.  There is no other way around this but straight through it.”

Okay. My gut tells me I can no longer offer free stuff [in my coaching practice business].

“There’s some truth in there.  And it’s not black and white.  There’s no need to rush into action just yet.  First, process the emotion and then move into motion.”

Oh okay. That makes sense.  I can move into action when I have reconnected with my confidence and I’m not freaking out.

“Yes, it is wise not to move forward when you are freaking out.”

It also just occurred to me that believing in myself creates confidence.

“Yes, it does.  This week is all about believing in you and discovering your beliefs. You are doing an excellent job.”

Thank you.  It all just feels a bit overwhelming.

“Yes, it does. And you are strong enough to move through it with grace and dignity.”

Oh thank you.  Sometimes it doesn’t feel that way.

“Yes, I know. I’m here to remind you.”

Tags: 100 Things I Fear, courage, fear, insecurity, overwhelm, soul, success, weakness

58. {11/18/09} Oy.  I’m feeling like a failure today.  I connected with Soul for comfort and guidance and she told me that this is coming up because I’m close to a breakthrough. I don’t have to push through. I get to walk through step by step and she is always with me to love me through it.  I’m so grateful for Soul!

Tags: 100 Things I Fear, courage, failure, fear, soul, success

Hi there! Coach Cassandra Rae here.  Do you have a few minutes to chat?

Oh good. Hasn’t this been such an amazing process to face 1 fear a day? Don’t you feel courageous, bold, and empowered?

What? Oh…you feel bad because you haven’t kept up with it.  Yeah, I know what you mean.  I didn’t keep up with it either.  In fact, that’s why I’m calling you today.  Can you believe that I didn’t update my list for almost the entire month of October?!  It’s just that there was so much going on in my life.  I didn’t have the time or the energy to keep up with it.  In fact, it was probably good for my health to let it go.

Oh yeah…I know what you mean.  When things in my personal life get whacked so does everything else and it doesn’t matter how much I want to do stuff.  I simply have to rearrange to accommodate my priorities.  Speaking of which, that brings me back to why I’m calling.  I wanted to share with you that I’m thinking about switching it up and I would really love to receive your feedback.  You see, I found that the first 17 days of the challenge were the most powerful.  It was on the forefront of my mind.  I learned so much about fear and how it works.  I made some incredible strides.  And it didn’t turn into a burden because I kept up with it.

So you found it easier in the beginning too, eh?

It also occurred to me that habits are built in 21 days.  In fact, I tend to do a lot of my groups and programs in multiples of 21 because of that.  So what would you think about switching up the 100 Things I Fear commitment to a 21 day commitment instead of a 100 day one?

No!  We wouldn’t face 100 fears in 21 days!  That would be even crazier, right? No, I was thinking that we could all make a commitment to face 21 fears in 21 days instead of 100 fears in 100 days.

Yeah, I’ll keep going with my initial 100 Things I Fear challenge through the end of 2009.  But, I wanted to provide an alternative for people because it’s such an awesome idea and the last thing I want to happen is for it to turn into something people beat themselves up over.  That’s like the opposite of the intention of the whole thing!

I know, right? Plus, a few of my fabulous FEMpreneur friends encouraged me to buy the 100ThingsIfear domain and so I did.  Yay!  And I’m thinking about setting up a whole blog dedicated to this process.  What do you think about that?

Oh you have to get going now?  No problem.  Will you please do me a favor and post your thoughts on my blog?

Thank you so much! And I look forward to reading your comments…

Tags: 100 Things I Fear, advice, blogging, courage, fear, goals, success, support

In this video {2:15} I talk about feeling like a failure {yuk!} and how I moved through it.

Now that you’ve watched it, what do you think? I’d love to hear about your insights and struggles.

Tags: career, confidence, courage, failure, inspiration, meditation, pressure, procrastination, success, VLOG {Videos of me!}

So many of my friends & family members tell me how cool they think the 100 Things I Fear challenge is {of course it is!}  They love to read about my fears {that’s kind of sadistic if you ask me, but that’s okay!} and they admire the courage {my sister even called me brave!}

At the same time, so many of them are like, “I don’t have a 100 fears,” {and you can read my response to that here} or “It’s too big of a commitment. “

It’s true: it is a big commitment.  In fact, I am a week behind in updating my list.  Oy!  But, that’s beside the point.  The point is…I thought it would be fun to provide an opportunity for people to play & contribute without committing to 100 days.  So here’s your chance.  Blog or comment your answer to this question:

What do you do to get yourself moving again when you feel like giving up?

We all lose steam every once in awhile – it happened to me this week!  In fact, there is almost always a break-down right before a big break-through.  So wouldn’t it be great to have a place to go to be reminded to keep going and take that leap of faith even when you feel like giving up? Please post your answer {or the link to your answer if you posted it on your own blog} so that we can all learn from your wisdom!

Thanks!  And now I am off to Champagne Friday :~)

Tags: 100 Things I Fear, advice, blogging, courage, failure, fear, success

Today’s fear was the classic “they’re going to think I’m stupid” fear.

I was in a meeting  and I came up with a suggestion for the facilitator.  After the idea came up, I was waiting for a break in the convo to share it and that’s when the fear crept in:

The more I thought about it, the less I liked it.

Then I started to think that people wouldn’t like the idea.

And then I imagined them looking at me like I was an idiot.

Oy! I was getting all wound up and it had only been like 30 seconds.  Literally.

The co-facilitator noticed my hand half-up and gave me the floor to speak before I had a chance to back down.

Gulp!

So I put the fear aside and shared my idea.

And guess what?

Not only did the facilitator say that she was going to take the idea to her boss, but the other people in the meeting loved it!

Really? You mean, you don’t think I’m stupid?! Whew!

Has this ever happened to you? If so, please leave me a supportive comment.  If not, then you aren’t sharing enough of your brilliant ideas & you need to join the 100 Things I Fear challenge!

{note: I know the above photo has nothing to do with this post directly, but I took this picture & I like it so I’m posting it. I’ve decided that that’s a good enough reason to include it :~}

Tags: 100 Things I Fear, communication, courage, fear, goals, Relationships, success

Today I faced a super yummy fear!  It was that excited fear you feel right before you speak in front of a group of people:

Coach Cassandra Rae

I know, it’s not the best picture and I look all slouchy…but, who cares? I got to speak to 100 people at Chrystal Bougon’s SoMe Bootcamp!

Here’s how I got the gig…listen up because this is tricky…

I asked for it.

Seriously, that’s all I did.  I sent her an email and asked her if I could lead a short centering exercise.  Okay, I also recorded an audio and sent her a link to listen to with my request. By the way, I also used the audio as a blog post so that it was available for everyone to hear as well. I love leveraging my efforts :~)

Now, she said no to my initial request.  But we agreed that I could do something as long as it wasn’t too woo woo.  And you know what? I think it turned out way better than a centering exercise!

I didn’t even know exactly what I was going to say when I got up there.  But, I knew I was going to bring the group back to the learning state of mind while waking people up after eating lunch.  So I allowed the details of what turned into a Mental/Emotional Stretch to emerge on the spot {I do love improv and it turned out beautifully.}  And what’s even sweeter…she included a link to my website in the emails sent out to all of the participants both before & after the event.  How freaking cool is that?

And it would have never happened if I didn’t ask.  So keep facing those fears, Peeps, and ask for what you want because you just might get it!

Tags: 100 Things I Fear, courage, fear, social media, solopreneur, speaking, success

Today has been so full of good stuff that I’m just now sitting down to blog & I had all these neat ideas to write about and share.

Then life happened.

Another fear popped up to face.

And now I am wiped out.

Whew!

So before I log off to go watch Gossip Girl I am sharing one of my super Aha! moments from the 100 Things I Fear challenge:

When you face your little every day fears on a consistent basis, then the big fears become smaller paving the way for your dreams to come true!

How cool is that?!

So if your big fears are stopping you from moving forward, then just let them be and begin with a little itty bitty fear.  Before you know it you’ll be breaking down all kinds of old barriers and building new avenues of opportunity in your life.

Woohoo!

Tags: 100 Things I Fear, courage, fear, goals, success

In this video {3:46} I share some surprising lessons from the 100 Things I Fear challenge. Like how I thought I would be facing the biggies {like picking a niche for my coaching practice!} and how beneficial it is to tune in to fear. What?! I know, it’s crazy right? Well, watch the video and please post your thoughts, experiences, and questions. I am loving connecting with you through this process.

Tags: courage, fear, goals, happiness, success, VLOG {Videos of me!}