Welcome to the magical world of transformation…

Last week I shared with you how a really challenging experience with my 18 year old daughter led me straight into the heart of God.  It was one of those pivotal moments where there was no way to be the same afterward.  And then something amazing happened…

The very next day my daughter came home from school upset.  She plopped down on her bed, put her head in her hands, and said, “I need some mommy therapy.”

Just the fact that my usually very private, I-can-do-everything-by-myself daughter was openly asking for my support grabbed my attention and I was immediately by her side.  She started talking and crying.  I asked her if I could give her a hug and she agreed.

And then the magic…

I simply held her as she poured her heart out.  It was a genuine moment where I got to be the nurturing mom I’ve always wanted to be.  I listened.  I soothed.  And I encouraged.  All while letting her have her feelings.  It was beautiful.  And what’s even better is that it didn’t end in a fight!

You see, in the past when we’ve tried to have these “mommy therapy” sessions I would inadvertently say the wrong thing, setting her off and we would both walk away hating each other and feeling worse than before.

But, that’s not what happened this time.  Nope.  This time we authentically connected.  I felt compassion and love for her.  I didn’t try to rush her out of her bad feelings.  Instead I just gave her space to express them.  Wow!  What a contrast from the past.  I feel like such a different mom.

It was like the moment I stopped beating myself up for not being nurturing enough, I became nurturing!  And allowing myself to be nurtured gave me the space to turn around and be nurturing.

Artwork Inspiration by KatHannah

Is there anything that you’re beating yourself up for?

Right now, in this moment, are you willing to give yourself a break?

It could be that when you stop pushing so hard against yourself, you just might find the you you’ve always wanted to be.

Tags: motherhood, nurturing, Parenting, Relationships, self esteem, teens

In this short video I tell you a story about an experience that cracked my heart wide open. If you’ve ever felt abandoned by your family, then please watch and send me an email {Cassandra @ SimplyFearless.com} telling me about your experience. It really helps when you share – believe me, I feel better now that I’ve shared with you!

Tags: abandonment, emotions, Family, homelessness, Relationships, teens

Day 43: No Love, No Glory

Photo artwork by Liel Bomberg

I love teens. I think they are super cool human beings with such vitality, humor, and style. I love spending time with them and I super enjoy when I have the opportunity to work with teens. It’s such a challenging time in life and I know that when I was a teen I needed more support than I received. I pay attention to the teens in my community. I look them in the eye and say hi. I also notice how people treat them and vice versa. So I thought it would be neat to share with you some of what I’ve learned about teens in my life and career as a Teen & Family Coach…

Teens are often criticized for things that come natural.

Teens aren’t always taken seriously and they are commonly discriminated against simply for their age.

Teens are expected to behave like adults even though they aren’t adults.

Teens aren’t adults – no matter how much they look and act like them, they aren’t and should be treated accordingly – this does not mean we get to look down on them – it does mean that we get to be ultra compassionate and understanding.

Teens are expected to have things figured out that most adults haven’t figured out yet.

Teens can see right through adults.

Teens are just learning the range of human emotions and are in the process of learning how to deal with them. A lot of adults don’t know how to appropriately process their emotions. This is a human challenge; not a teen challenge.

Teens push boundaries. It is human nature.

Parents cannot control their teens (or anyone else for that matter). They can only control how they respond to their teens.

Teens need to take risks.

Teens need at least one adult outside of their parents that they can turn to for support, guidance, and love.

Teens need to express themselves.

When teens are freaking out and lashing out, they need parents who can remain calm and hold them accountable.

Teens know how to push their parents buttons.

Teens need a safe space to learn how to take responsibility.

Teens are ultra sensitive about their bodies – who isn’t really?!

I’d love to hear your thoughts, perspective, and ideas about your TeenView. What parts of my list do you agree with? Disagree with? And what would you like to add? Please, comment away!

Tags: adults, Family, teens