I saw the surgeon again this past week. What can I say? I don’t like seeing him! The first time I met him he poked me 4 times with a spring-loaded needle and I bled all over the place. The second time wasn’t as messy, but almost just as painful.
I found out that even though the initial biopsy was benign – I’m not out of the woods yet. You see, they aren’t 100% sure that the sample they collected was actually from the mass. I know! How could he miss? It was the size of a walnut! Now it’s the size of a plum with the bruising and swelling (thankfully, it doesn’t really hurt much these days). But, I guess I must agree with the doc that the initial biopsy was a “shot in the dark”.
Well, the second one won’t be because it will be illuminated by the power of ultrasound…yes, they are going to harpoon me again! But, we can’t do it for at least 2 weeks because of the hematoma.
You know, when I first found the lump it turned my life all upside down. Now I feel sorta numb to it all. I mean, there’s nothing I can do to hurry it up. I have the appointment and that’s that. I won’t find out the results until probably a week after the test and if I do have cancer, why not live the next 3 weeks in the luxury of not knowing?! I’ve decided I’m just going to get on living my life no matter what the results. Pretending that I’m already dead certainly won’t help me heal!
Oh crap….I’ve gotta go pack now because we’re going out of town for a couple of days! But, before I do I just have to say that it is really easy to feel like a victim through this whole process. But, when I step back and look at it, I get to decide what doctor to see, when to see him, and what to do next. Doctors are people I hire to help me with my health. Yeah, they might mess up sometimes, but they’re still human and doing the best they can. So, I’m going to remember that I’m in charge here, look at the bright side, and simply trust God that all is as it should be.
Tags: body, boob, breast, cancer, health, trust
