First of all, I super admire your willingness to share your true feelings about your relationship with your 12 yo daughter. 12 is an especially trying time for everyone – tween & parents alike. Even in the best of circumstances it's challenging. 12 year olds are trying to establish themselves as a teen even though they aren't there yet and often times that equates to lashing out at parents. So the fact that you have found yourself being mean doesn't surprise me at all. It's perfectly natural. And it's not the most effective way to parent through it. You are on the right track about turning towards love as a solution. And here's what I encourage you to do:

Whenever you find yourself feeling angry or being mean, simply pause, and love YOURSELF through it. You can say something like:

“Hey, this is a challenging situation. It's okay to be upset. You're doing your best and I love you for that.”

The more you speak to yourself in a loving way, the more you can speak to your kids lovingly. And remember: this is a process. So give yourself permission to be where you're at knowing that you are growing and loving yourself through it!

*HUGS*

First of all, I super admire your willingness to share your true feelings about your relationship with your 12 yo daughter. 12 is an especially trying time for everyone – tween & parents alike. Even in the best of circumstances it's challenging. 12 year olds are trying to establish themselves as a teen even though they aren't there yet and often times that equates to lashing out at parents. So the fact that you have found yourself being mean doesn't surprise me at all. It's perfectly natural. And it's not the most effective way to parent through it. You are on the right track about turning towards love as a solution. And here's what I encourage you to do:

Whenever you find yourself feeling angry or being mean, simply pause, and love YOURSELF through it. You can say something like:

“Hey, this is a challenging situation. It's okay to be upset. You're doing your best and I love you for that.”

The more you speak to yourself in a loving way, the more you can speak to your kids lovingly. And remember: this is a process. So give yourself permission to be where you're at knowing that you are growing and loving yourself through it!

*HUGS*

@Andrea ~ Oh I feel your hug now! Yes, this young man has touched my heart & everyone else who has connected through this VLOG. I hadn’t thought about it like that before. Thank you for pointing it out. It reminds me that all of us really don’t realize how much of an impact we have on others.

@Nancy ~ Thank you so much Sis. Your support inspires me to keep going. The support of my family is priceless.

@Jerry ~ I’m totally teary eyed as I read your comment! That’s one of the things I adore about you: how you see me & love me. You’ve always had this way of eliciting my emotions. Thank you and much love to you too.
.-= Cassandra Rae´s last blog ..Tools for Living: de-stress & feel better now =-.

I love you.

Hugs,
~Your big Sis
.-= Nance´s last blog ..Pink Persimmon… =-.